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J.A. Aarntzen

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The Longing
by J.A. Aarntzen
Friday, July 16, 2010
Rated "G" by the Author.
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           >> View all 183

My latest offering from the driver's seat. This is a poem about the hopelessness and hopefulness that is felt in an oppressive environment.

The Longing

The shaman summons the raven
A craven ritual from dim origins
Aboriginal idealism fails to ignite
Despite its appeal to its acolytes
The light flashes and goes nowhere
Snake struggles in the glare of the sun
It’s stunned by what it is given
Driven by drives it cannot understand
It writhes madly to escape the torches
The scorching heat that goes nowhere
Wet nurse embraces the distant fog
Wild dog bays its unrelenting remorse
Striped horse chips at hardened soil
A toil that disintegrates the heart
A start that inevitably leads nowhere
Crest droops on a once proud head
Ahead a monitor lizard tastes the air
Daring to survive upon sullen territory
A story that will not and cannot last long
A song that repeats and goes nowhere
Trade winds ride changeless carousels
Arousal of seasons leads to expectation
Explanation of Earth forces and instincts
Insects spread the seedlings here and afar
Far reaching yet seeming to go nowhere
The promise of the rains is in the air
Bare parched ground cries out for them
Stems and roots brittle under a fierce sun
Are shunned by the stirring wildebeests
A feast will come and they’ll go somewhere
Storyteller on the Lake
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Reviewed by The Poetess 8/26/2010
Enjoyed this Longing for rain.
Reviewed by Gianetta Ellis 7/22/2010
I've read this poem many times since you posted it. There is so much going on with and inside the language. As Paul observed, you have very thoughtfully composed this piece - from your careful choice of words and attention to sound to the ending word of each stanza. I am grateful that you've ended the poem with "somewhere" - it feels like a hopeful assurance. The more I read of your work, the more I imagine each side of your brain reaching out in invitation to the other side - a grey matter collaboration of creativity and analysis. Several of your lines are some of the best I've read. I particularly like:

"The shaman summons the raven
A craven ritual from dim origins..."

and your fourth stanza is wonderful.

Your underlying message rises through a scene created/based within nature. This feels very primal, very fundamental. Each of us is infused by this - our heritage. In some ways, this reminds me of a poem upon which I'm currently working; we've used a similar subject/backdrop to impart a similar message.

Reviewed by Paul Judges 7/20/2010
Very well composed poem
Reviewed by Amber Moonstone 7/16/2010
I love this earthy poem, it is filled with such radiant thoughts and imagery..
Peace, love and light,
Amber "V"

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