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Freefall
A piano missing a few keys maybe
A little worse for the wear of the weather
Those inevitable effects of being
I see and smile to remember not seeing
Out looking for trouble and finding it in
Unlikely places beginning to begin
But you must have been a beautiful baby
Because baby look at you now and yet how
Much do we love us or not how but whether
At all or not at all through such a hard fall
When winter awaits no matter what we do?
I have trouble denying discouragement
But I have tried to make it better somehow
I used to be able to lift up those who
Had fallen and maybe gotten broken too
But I went for broke without breaking my fall
And ended up with my heart broken instead
The person I was died inside of my head
Cost what was paid for before I lost the rest
And left me like this at all or not at all
It is more than I can do to lift up my
Weary self now as like an autumn leaf I
Am blown by the wind carried up then drawn down
A big deal to me but really pretty small
Just another person in another town
Like you see from the train as it passes by
The people and the town and the suffering
When this is not hello when this is goodbye
I will have to go all the way down someday
And when I am down now I stay there until
The turn of the wheel comes along as it will
As it does to bring me back to how it was
Returning the wind to keep turning the mill
Not forcing the spring since I can force nothing
Only myself to be stubborn and to stay
Life is difficult heaven knows (or does it?)
It was what I thought that it was (or was it?)
But I cannot see how it was because it
Is not the way it was then rather the way
It is now which is the way it is today
And maybe today we are not at our best
We would try tomorrow but it never comes
It just glitters there at the end of the road
As a future mirage the past overcomes
But the hope of it helps us to bear the load
Of a promise so big it can never come
True all at once so it blooms into pieces
A faraway fragrance blown over the sea
A memory like temptation increases
Its insidious insistent urgency
Of purpose but just what that purpose might be
Is not for the many to know but the some
And they are not telling me so I will wait
For what never comes but would become my fate
If it ever came from today where it hid
Within the fabric of spacetime yesterday
Not coming and yet never going away
If the some knew that we were not at our best
I wonder if they would enlighten the rest
Of us who just wonder in general how
To find our way out of this amazing maze
Where we find ourselves living our nights and days
As if this were going to be permanent
This matrix and multiverse all about now
Which speaking of tomorrow is where it went
Mystic magisterial ancient of days
August in July a stranger everywhere
Schizophrenic and whip smart and razor thin
His belly of iron wherein burns a flame
Psychotic and dangerous quite possibly
But he dances into the arms of always
Coming becoming beginning to begin
The process of us remembering his name
And if you remember I wonder if we
A piano missing a few keys maybe
With you who were once a beautiful baby
I wonder if it is not too late to try
Though not at our best today making a go
Of life now we know to know is not to know
Since we never have to explain us at all?
As if we would or if we could explain we
Who have embraced both the joys and sorrows of
Windblown leaves in autumn floating in freefall
Turning returning though falling even so
Further and further than we ever dreamed of
And everything makes sense now little and late
Past the suffering the people and the town
Tomorrow is coming becoming our fate
The fall of death becoming the call of love
Freefalling further and then all the way down
When this is not goodbye when this is hello
Though not at our best today making a go
Of floating in freefall like falling in love
+Steven Curtis Lance
Copyright MMX
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