Fizzled out (Remy La Rhyme)
by Koyel Mitra
Friday, August 06, 2010
Not rated by the Author.
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The RemyLa Rhyme Form, a form created by Laura Lamarca, consists of 4 stanzas.
Each stanza has four lines. The syllable count per stanza is 8/10/12/8 and rhyme scheme
is abca defd ghig jklj. The first word of stanza 1 must also be the last word of stanza 4.
The last word of stanza 1 must also be the first word of stanza 2 and the last word of stanza
2 must be the first word of stanza 3. Finally, the last word of stanza 3 must also be the first
word of stanza 4.
Yonder you stand, mighty fortress
Amidst a land mantled with pure white snow.
Your exquisite comeliness is unparalleled,
Your charisma, attraction is boundless.
Boundless joy to all you impart.
Enticed by you, soft sunrays caress you
Enhancing your mesmerization and thus the
Envy of many tears your heart.
Heart of yours is immaculate
As the chaste snow surrounding you.
You reciprocate his love and build hope within
And their attempts you do frustrate.
Frustrate them, his heart you conquer.
Good wins over malevolence and thus a
Bond of love with the mellow sun is formed adding
to your strength, loveliness yonder.
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|Reviewed by Rafika Anderson
|What a fascinating form, Koyel. I like your use of imagery and gift for storytelling more than the interesting form, however. Keep writing. You have a gift.
Happy new year!