One more thing, before you look at the words of my slayer. I want you to understand me. Remember the song, Mandy? I think it is so, beautiful. It was one of my favorites and playing the night I was killed, but after my attack and murder it took on a different meaning, as people passed right by me, not noticing my lifeless eyes staring up at them from under the pile of trash I was found fit to be discarded with. Then it hit me that I was now just a memory. I tried to cry out, "I want to live!" but they kept right on walking, as though mindlessly looking right through me, just like they do the living.
See here! Now just a few verses from the song to requite my restless soul:
I remember all my life
Raining down as cold as ice
A shadow of a man
A face through a window
Crying in the night
The night goes into
Morning, just another day
Happy people pass my way
Looking in their eyes
I see a memory
I never realized...
Leave a kind note for me here with memories of your dear fallen sparrows, won't you? Take a minute, and do it for me and for all the fallen sparrows who only wanted to meet the wind-dancer's spirit and spin in mid-air like a hummingbird's dream.
The words in purple font below were written down neatly on a piece of scrap paper left in my killer's cell. They were found, while getting the cell ready for the next condemned criminal. He had written them about the night he met me!
Unglamourously, he folded and stuffed the note into a crack behind his bed on Death Row. He left it there to be found, before he was humanely executed by lethal injection.
My spirit and the spirit of my unborn child, (I didn't know I was carrying at the time), watched from the gallery along with many other ghosts, ghosts of people just like you, once living and full of life and hopes and dreams, till it was all cruelly ripped away.
"Who was going to raise my 5-year old little girl?" I thought at the time of my killing. I still see her at the playground, at school, at the Prom, getting married, and having a baby of her own, even though it hasn't happened yet. It is her future. Flitting and hovering ghostly nearby, invisible to her eyes, I saw her a butteryfly there from a catepillar sprung, yes I did, full of life, glorious life!
Dup, dup, dup, the bass echoes off the walls, the disco ball sparkles painting the floor, and a young couple dance to the retro beat...
I'm your Boogie Man, I'm your Boogie Man, I'm your man,
I'm your Boogie Man, I'm your Boogie Man, do what you can.
Dance closer pretty baby, feel my energy pumping,
I'm addictive, a player, you know a dangerous man.
I stalked you because I loved you,
If I can't have you as my lover bitch,
I'll have you as another cold dead body,
You choose, then I'll leave you in a ditch.
I saw in you a point and a pattern,
I saw a chance to cheat your ass.
Grabbing a moment to steal love,
A life ebbing, breathing your last.
Ooh, woo, woo! How happy I feel,
What is wrong, is wrong with you?
Loving you to Manilow, Oh Mandy.
My God how I love this this song!
Can feel your heart next to mine,
Its beating pounding against me,
Throbbing out in panic, in shame,
Feels good inside you me. O' Mandy.
Eyes sadly closed, is your hot body fully spent?
O' twas great riding you, feeling your sexy best.
Tears, fear and loathing, you spasm and confess,
Loving the Serpent's tongue licking at your breasts.
A life ebbing, you braced yourself against me,
Dying, in an ungodly onslaught, you forgave me.
Blue eyes pleading, afraid, breathing out your last,
Only 31 years old-young, a victim paying for my past.