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Regis Auffray

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Limericks XX
by Regis Auffray
Friday, August 13, 2010
Rated "G" by the Author.
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Recent poems by Regis Auffray
•  Life and a Love
•  For Emily
•  I Wish I Could Tell You...
•  Encounters: Little Red Riding Hood (and others)
•  When an Angel Leaves
           >> View all 354

More limerick "just for fun" stuff; I hope it elicits a few smiles...



Tell Me About It!

There’s a lovely housemaid named Julie
Who cleans everything with patchouli
She makes the house glitter
Even the cat's litter
As has been witnessed by yours truly
 
A fellow by the name of Beatty
Captured and tamed a wapiti
The news quickly aired
When Beatty declared
That he’d ride his wapiti to Tahiti

There once was a house with no door
No one knew if it had a floor
They could not get in
Thought that was a sin
So they burned it and it is no more
 
I met a wild lady named Kate
Whom I had to domesticate
Now that she is tame
She’s indeed a fine dame
We often go out on a date
 
There once was a filly with no name
Everyone thought that was a shame
So they all got together
And gave her the name Feather
Now Feather is a filly of fame
 
There once was a dog with no bark
It was even afraid of the dark
But his owner loved him
Because on a whim
It could truly sing like a lark
 
There once was an aging old maid
Who was becoming afraid
That she’d never wed
Neither Ed, Fred nor Ted
So she got down on her knees and prayed
 
There once was a fellow named Vic
On the draw he thought he was quick
Until one day he met
A fellow named Emmet
Now Vic knows he's no quicker than a brick
 
There once was a very spoiled brat
Who pestered his mother for a cat
The mother grew tired
A tiger was hired
Now the brat is as quiet as a gnat
 
In a local tavern one night
It is said that there was a fight
Between two rowdy punks
And a couple of drunks
Morning light revealed quite a sight


© Copyright 2010    Regis Auffray

 

 

 

 

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Reviewed by lois christensen 8/21/2014
I find this to bring more laughs than any of the others I read, it's quality for laughs.
Reviewed by Rozzy Diouf 9/29/2010
Aha! Regis really enjoyed this Limmerick..thanks!
Reviewed by Shoma Mittra 9/19/2010
fabulous! you write great limericks Reg! :-)
Reviewed by Ch'erie de Perrot 9/5/2010
Nothin like a good session o f limericks to set a smile on the face...errr a good chuckle ;)
Blessings Regis
Ch'erie
Reviewed by Kathleen McDonald 9/4/2010
these made me smile too.
hug
kathy
Reviewed by miss choos 8/28/2010
Tell me about it.

Don't you just hate poets who can write limericks, never mind those who can rattle out ten and call them one poem?

I must try harder.

Thanky you Regis.
Reviewed by Whitney Chamberlain (Reader) 8/28/2010
I see you write very good poetry Regis.

Whitney
Reviewed by Morning Star 8/27/2010
I love them all but my favorite is
There once was a very spoiled brat
This one made my smile from ear to ear
I've known many spoiled brats in my life
and believe me the tiger would not have taken the job LOL
Regis Your the Man of " limerick "
Brilliant!!
Wishing You Peace Love and Light...Yolie
Reviewed by The Poetess 8/27/2010
Sure did deliver a smile
Reviewed by Dawn Anderson 8/27/2010
Ah! The King of the Limerick strikes again! What fun, Regis.
Reviewed by Dayvid Graybill 8/26/2010
Haha...this put a smile on my face Regis. My favorite is the spoiled brat.

Peace,
Dayvid
Reviewed by c lea harris 8/25/2010
yep, sounds about right, Strange things do happen, at the most unusual moments, and we don't even have to plan or look for it. Thanks for the smiles! I am glad, I came back to A.D.
Reviewed by Paul Judges 8/25/2010
Excellent stuff, Regis !
Reviewed by Daniel Keith 8/24/2010
Thank you for the laughter Regis. It is always a pleasure to read these. May God bless you every day of your life.

Daniel
Reviewed by Peter Schlosser (Reader) 8/22/2010
Thanks for the tip Regis. Sometimes I miss those few little gems which slide through my fingers. Yes, smiles for sure. Take care.
Reviewed by Lew Duffey 8/20/2010
A witty piece. I don't know how i missed this one.
It was probably that computer virus I had to fight with for almost a week.
God bless,
Lew
Reviewed by Patrick Granfors 8/20/2010
Masterful as always, with chuckles to boot! Patrick
Reviewed by Barbara Terry 8/19/2010
I have another view Regis. These seem to be a little darker than the ones I have read. The first and fourth ones I take exception to. Women don't need to be tamed or domesticated. Most women today would give you an argument about that and then leave.

Women are free of the domesticated shackles of yesterday and today they are working harder than ever to help their life mates make ends meet. Women may still do the housework but then so do men.

These are written very well and they tell funny tales, but I feel these are a little darker than your previous ones. Only one of these actually made me smile where the mother hired a tiger because the child wanted a cat.

Thank you for sharing Reg.

May the Lord Bless you, and those whom you love, and be with you always, and walk by your side. With love in my heart, joy to the world, peace on earth, & ((((((((((MANY WONDERFUL SISTERLY HUGGGGSSSS)))))))))), your little sister Barbie.
Reviewed by Jerry Engler 8/18/2010
Lots of fun, Regis. I was going to tell you which one was my favorite, but I can't settle to one. Thanks.....Jerry
Reviewed by Mary Lacey, Desertrat 8/18/2010
Reg,

you really tickled my funny bone! Thanks, I needed that.

Mary
Reviewed by Andy Turner 8/18/2010
I laughed out loud, there is some brilliant humour here.
And the visuals are great.
Great fun and very well done. Julie and, the gnat will stick in my mind for sometime.
Reviewed by La Belle Rouge Poetess Of The Heart 8/17/2010
You know how I love these limericks, they brighten my day Regis.
Reviewed by Sheila Roy 8/16/2010
As always, very creative, Regis. I'm not sure how you come up with these. Love and Hugs,
Sheila
Reviewed by OnepoetGem *the Poetic Rapper 8/16/2010
very nice word play Regis, there once was a poet named Auffray, that versed his way, to make our day. Actually he drove the blues away, and helped love, peace and happiness stay. He versed strong and would not stray. cheers
Reviewed by Kate Burnside 8/16/2010
... you just get betterer and betterer at these, Regis. You always outdo your last limerick-string, I think, which is no mean feat. I particularly like the "brat" one today, although in a couple others you have attempted some difficult rhymes, too. Hats off to you as always! xx
Reviewed by neerja gandhi 8/16/2010
not just few smiles dear Regis, lotsa lotsa LOLs.....beautiful, difficult to decide which one of your limericks 'the best'. Keep them flowing....neerja
Reviewed by William Bonilla 8/15/2010
a most enjoyable fun reading limerick
Thanks for sharing Regis
Peace be with you

William
Reviewed by Abdi-Noor Mohamed (Eagle Of Hope) 8/15/2010
Humorous and inspirational of the highest degree. Great work my friend, Regis.
Reviewed by stan nassano 8/15/2010
Regis, your limericks remind me of some words my Grandpa used to say to us kids every now and then,"that there boy ain't right in the head" I'm kidding but man where you come up with some of those lines really crack me up,like the glitter of cat litter.......lol
Reviewed by TONY NERONE 8/15/2010
Hi Regis, I have missed some reviews and I am sorry about it. I still have the infection and I am missing some of my favorites, of which you certainly are. Forgive me while i recuperate. I am still tracking you and will not let our friendship pass.
These limericks I just read were hilarous. You are the very best at writing them. Stay well my friend.

GOD BLESS YOU
TONY
Reviewed by Jon Willey 8/15/2010
"The wapiti to Tahiti" or sail on a freighter a bit later. You've given me levity I needed Regis. Thanks my dear friend. May peace love and joy be always with you. Jon Michael
Reviewed by Ronald Hull 8/15/2010
This hit me like quick brick. Can an elk swim to tahiti in a bikini? With your usual kwel--whose Emmett?

Ron
Reviewed by E T Waldron 8/15/2010
I'll have a smile plastered on me face for the rest of the day, thanks to you Reg!;-)
Reviewed by Liana Margiva 8/15/2010
WONDERFUL POEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Liana Margiva
Reviewed by Mark Lichterman 8/14/2010
I felt that I could use some humor this evening, so searched until I found this wonderful collection of limenricks and, yep, they did the job.
Mark
Reviewed by Rose Rideout 8/14/2010
Great work Regis, I really look forward to these as you are fantastic at it.

Newfie Hugs, Rose
Reviewed by George Carroll 8/14/2010
You are the king of limericks. I haven't tried to write one of these in years. Excellent

George
Reviewed by JMS Bell 8/14/2010
BRAVO! BRAVO! BRAVO! YOU BRING SMILES AND LAUGHTER TO SO MANY WITH THESE GREAT LIMERICKS, BUT ESPECIALLY TO ME AND FOR THAT I AM VERY APPRECIATIVE. THANK YOU REGIS, LOVE AND BLESSINGS,
JOYCE * HIS INSPIRATIONS
Reviewed by Morgan Merriweather 8/14/2010
I am so smiling and today I would so love to hire a tiger. -Morgan
Reviewed by Gene Williamson 8/14/2010
Regis, thanks for the smiles. -gene.
Reviewed by Elizabeth Russo 8/14/2010
Always clever, always funny, always provides a smile :) thank you, Regis ~ Hugs and love, Elizabeth
Reviewed by Ann Marquette 8/13/2010
Yes a few chuckles for me :-)
You are good...
Reviewed by Inspire Hope 8/13/2010
Lol!!! Regis you have done it again...made me laugh,
which as you know is medicine for the heart! Thank
you for sharing your wonderful gift! May the Lord
bless and strengthen you each day!!!

Much Love,
Margaret
Reviewed by D Johnson 8/13/2010
Julie could come to my place, then when she is finished we could go to the tavern and clean up on the punks and drunks...just a thought.

Cheers,
Dan
Reviewed by Christine Alwin 8/13/2010
I would be very happy truly,
if you sent to my house Julie! :)
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 8/13/2010
Well done, mon ami; c'est bien!

(((HUGS))) et amour, ton ami dans Texas, Karen Lynn. :D
Reviewed by Victoria's Poetry & Voices of Muse 8/13/2010
I like Julie best
...she sparkles :)
you are very good at these
I been as you know wanting to
write in this style...maybe I will
do they have to be playful?
You should create a book for them Regis
and you can have a real groovy book cover
made especially for you :)

Love Limericks Dance & Play
Vickie
Reviewed by Annabel Sheila 8/13/2010
Hilarious, Regis!!! Loved them all!!! Thanks for the laughter on this lovely Friday afternoon....hope you have a great weekend!!! Mine started off with laughter............

Anna
Reviewed by Richard King 8/13/2010
Limericks, never tried to write one, but I sure enjoy reading them... Love the rhythm they bring. Excellent Regis, Thanks Dick
Reviewed by Ed Matlack 8/13/2010
More fun ones up to your usual standards...e
Reviewed by Christine Tsen 8/13/2010
Very clever and cute!
I have always liked limericks, and you are a card at them ~
Blessings,
Christine
Reviewed by David Maclellan 8/13/2010
If laughter is the best medicine Regis, I just had a big dose of it!!!
Thank you doctor,
David
Reviewed by Mary Coe 8/13/2010
Love it! Love it! Love it! Well done.
Reviewed by Felix Perry 8/13/2010
Get me smiling limericks are always welcomed Reg...
fee
Reviewed by John Coppolella 8/13/2010
Rollicking fun.
Reviewed by Janet Caldwell 8/13/2010
Hee hee, love it!!! x
Reviewed by Paul Berube 8/13/2010
Nicely done, Regis.



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