The Fickleness Of Life
by Barbara Lynn Terry
When life is ticking away the years
and you can not let go of your fears.
What can you do when you find
that you are mired in time?
In 1958 I was but the tender age of ten,
I was innocent and had many friends.
Then the phone call ended my fun,
and dark clouds covered the sun.
I rode the train to my ultimate destiny
all the while crying deep inside of me.
I arrived where I had to go
but it seemed my steps were very slow.
I managed somehow to get to mother,
and she told me that she was expecting another
child and that I was going to be big brother
to which I cringed.
There was a man standing with her on the platform
his aura was black as coal.
He wanted to introduce himself as is the norm,
but I shied away like a young foal.
As I entered their two bedroom home
I looked around for the resident gnome
because the place was small
but mother said it would fit us all.
She showed me to my room
that was harbinger of my doom
It was small, just a tad
bigger than a closet.
The dark clouds got darker
and it was really the marker
of my ultimate destiny
that was mocking me.
It said you are a fool
your wits are your tools
to build your life with
because you have grit.
Not knowing what that meant
I knelt down, my head bent
in prayer and I asked the Lord
to deliver me from all discord.
My prayers were not answered
or so I had thought
and my fear grew worse than a cancer
as mother and I argued and fought.
Then the fickleness of life
turned off my light
and I was shunned and cast
into a darkness that was to last.
A lifetime of darkness and fears
brought about my flood of tears
as my body began to shake
and my life became an earthquake.
It swallowed me up in its depths
and I didn't even have the breath
to breathe as I fell in to the cavern
screaming through my living death.
The fickleness of life will show you
the dark side forever as too
you will never see the light
because the fire below is too bright.
How can I let go?
How will I know
to be able to let go
of the steps I take that are slow.
Can I help myself to get out
and turn this life about
so that I can be free
and rightefully be me?
The fickleness of life can be
such a dark force you see
that ruins your life
and mires you in bitter strife.
When I was young I had lots of fun
when I was a tween I was shunned
and then I was to find
that mother had put my life in a bind.
Whatever you do, never let this
happen to you, because then you'll miss
the best part of the life that God
has given you to be a true part of.
© 2010 by Barbara Lynn Terry