A soul hunt is a tool to access our inner self to recover those pieces of our self that may have left us at different points in our lives to ensure our survival.
Before the Soul Hunt
I am nervously counting down to tonight.
Two more hours left to the ceremony…
Tonight I feel I am going through a mini death.
Tonight I need to slay the ego part that
has been filling the vacant space
in my being
due to a soul part lost
for my own protection.
Ego’s job is finished.
My ego part needs to relinquish its responsibility.
Tonight I need to welcome that part of me that has been away for so long.
Tonight I am going to meet my higher self.
Tonight I will have a glimpse at the one that
many people face at time of death.
I feel the fear of the unknown in my gut.
I can taste my fear.
I am seeking an imminent death of my ego part.
The ritual of cleansing my body and wearing a white cloth
creates more churn in my stomach.
It makes it more real and serious.
I can feel the fear. It is strong.
It is like being sentenced to death
with only hours left to the execution.
The fear is the fear of death of part of my ego.
It is sometimes difficult to distinguish between “me” and my ego.
The part of my ego, my close friend,
has been my protector for many years.
I feel close to him.
He has done a great job protecting me.
I need to slay a part of him.
I am nervous to meet my higher self.
I feel closer to my ego than my higher self.
I feel anxious and nervous.
and I will
go through this journey.
This is the right thing to do.
I need to sacrifice a part of my ego
to keep my soul alive.
During the Soul Hunt
It is perhaps fifteen minutes into the soul hunt.
I have asked my higher self to show itself in a form of an animal.
A beautiful, large, brown eye of a horse appears to me.
I heard a voice say,
“This is all BS. Just observe.”
The voice reminded me that all my apprehensions were due to illusions and
I just need to observe what is frightening me.
My breathing started becoming deeper and deeper.
I was breathing deeply with my entire body.
I felt a huge expansion inside my stomach.
I felt there was a Universe inside my stomach.
Feeling of expansion was tremendous.
I felt a sense of vastness,
much more than my physical body can hold.
Day After the Soul Hunt
I feel sad for the loss of my companion, my long time partner, my ego part.
I am also happy inside that I have re-connected to my soul part.
My sadness is a tribute to the relationship I had with part of my ego for so long.
My ego has protected me for so very long.
My ego part was an obstacle for allowing my soul to return from the void within.
Goodbye, my ego part.
Thanks for being with me for so long as a protector.
You served your purpose.
Do not worry about me.
I am now more than what I used to be.
I now have more courage.
I can grow through future challenges and traumas with more ease.
Copyright . 2010 by Shervin Hojat