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Patrick A Granfors

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Short Stories
· Strawberry Green Springs

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· Fabulous Eight Bean Soup

· Consequences

· Mighty Fine Stuffed Cabbage Rolls

· Phobos-Grunt Re-entry

· My Second Ozark Boat Ride

· Marinating on my TV

· A Penny For My Thoughts?

· Time for Confusion

· Alzyisms Part 7 - Partial Reconciliation

· Alzyisms - Part 6

· Somebody Blinked

· Bend

· Drink About It

· Dominos

· Standard Issue

· Wisdom of the Wind

· Rainy Day Poem

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  Summer Cold
by Patrick A Granfors
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Recent poems by Patrick A Granfors
•  Queen of Broken Hearts
•  Somebody Blinked
•  Drink About It
•  Bend
•  Dominos
           >> View all 528

We all know the drill.

The inventor of snot ought to be

Strung up high from the nearest tree

Left there to dangle for all to see

Like this nose gel dangling out of me


A full box of Kleenex is simply no match

For the mass production of my nasal hatch

About half the stuff they just don’t catch

My eyes sure itch but I don’t dare scratch


I tried to sleep but I have to say

It’s like being water boarded by the CIA

The S.S. Night Night is adrift today

Headed towards the shoals of Big Snot Bay


The waves are high and the rocks are green

Bilge pump is busted I’m no merchant marine

Caught in the vortex of a mucus machine

Working on Kleenex box – seventeen


Nyquil, Benadryl, I’m not impressed

I’m a walking, talking, medicine chest

All I really want to do is get some rest

Next stop, some rum, honey – and lemon zest


Heavy on the rum


Copyright 2010 Patrick Granfors




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Reviewed by Ronald Hull 9/17/2010
Haven't heard or seen green snot since I was a kid. Go heavy on the rum in that lemonade and you'll be picking dry boogers in no time.

Reviewed by Eileen Granfors 9/16/2010
And that's what I got for my birthday. . .(not to mention the much anticipated cruise!)
Reviewed by Sage Sweetwater 9/16/2010
Drippy mucous is a bugger for sure...hangin' around for what, I don't know, good for nothing snot...maybe the saddlebag doctor's got a cure of pine-gum and well rummie...

Reviewed by Peter Schlosser (Reader) 9/15/2010
A couple Xanax will get you through those tight spots for sure. Did we have a summer this year????
Reviewed by Regis Auffray 9/15/2010
You so effectively share the miseries of a summer cold, Patrick. I used to get them now and then but fortunately, I cannot recall the last time. Thank you. I hope you get well soon. Love and peace,

Reviewed by Richard King 9/15/2010
Cough, Cough... I got yer big snot bay right here buddy. Snif. My nose is so red, snif, I could play Rudolph without any makeup. Cough, snif. And sore!!! My o my, I'm tempted to just let it drip. Nice write, so real I could feel it. Now please write something really nice and peaceful or something soft and dreamy. Dick
Reviewed by Ed Matlack 9/15/2010
Forget Mr. Ed, I need that rum more but not more than you it sounds...I have a friend who drinks some rock N rye, then lays in a hot tub of water for awhile then goes to bed with a couple of blankets and wakes feeling fine the next day, who knows it might work...e
Reviewed by Mr. Ed 9/15/2010
The S.S. Night Night is adrift today
Headed towards the shoals of Big Snot Bay

I hear there's some mighty 'Good Fishin' in Big Snot Bay,
And I sure could use a nice big bottle of rum myself, today!

Reviewed by Mark Lichterman 9/15/2010
Very funny, though thoroughly recognizable words, my friend. Summer colds, or allergies can make life absolutely misrable. Sorry you're not well, Patrick.
Reviewed by Paul Berube 9/15/2010
Sorry you're feeling lousy, Patrick. Cute write tho.
Reviewed by Karen Palumbo 9/14/2010
Things I am not looking forward too, and so sorry you are feeling so poorly...

Be always safe,
Reviewed by E T Waldron 9/14/2010
wow! you are bringing the ills of winter to us in a hurry!;) great write!etw
Reviewed by Elizabeth Price 9/14/2010
Too funny. Sorry you have a cold. Glad it was inspiring. Liz
Reviewed by Annabel Sheila 9/14/2010
This would make a great ad for Kleenex! giggle...not laughing at your misery, my friend, but at the hilarious way you told us about it. As a cronic sinusitis sufferer, I understand your plight! Hope you feel better least you haven't lost that precious sense of humour!

Reviewed by Andy Turner 9/14/2010
Oh boy oh boy. The Rum and honey come first when it's runny!
Reviewed by Connie Faust 9/14/2010
Oy, Patrick, how disgustingly true-to-life! Sometimes you just hafta wonder how the body produces so much of this unwelcome substance!
Still, in the right nose, it makes for a funny poem. Thanks for sharing your good humor, and I hope you dry up soon.

  1. Summer Doth Approach...
  2. My Ass Is Grass
  3. Sunny Days and Mondays
  5. Ah, Shucks
  6. What is it with women...?
  7. Halloween is Coming!
  8. Missed again...
  9. $
  10. The Toilet Seat
  11. An expose' of the Pines Devil...
  12. Cell Phone Blues
  13. Catching Up With The Past
  14. My Good Friday Procedure
  15. Funny Bones Claire
  16. Tits
  17. Somebody Blinked
  18. 'Nere Do Wells
  19. Curly McCurdled
  20. The jersey devil stayed home last night…

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