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Tom Hyland

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Books by Tom Hyland
  NOTICES!
by Tom Hyland
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Recent poems by Tom Hyland
•  SHRIMPY
•  OF ALL THE GIRLS I LOVED BEFORE ...
•  ALL HALLOWS EVE
•  HONEY, OUR VOWS MEANT NOTHING TO YOU ... BUT I DIDN'T KNOW
•  CONTEMPLATING BAMBI’S NAVEL
           >> View all 514





And yet - Another UN-Poem!

Another True Story - Hot Off The Presses!

Bet THIS Never Happens in YOUR City!

PIC = MY TRUSTY STEED - SILVER!







NOTICES!

© - Tom Hyland - 9/15/10

Did’ja ever Notice How -
Noticeably Inadequate Many Notice Signs are?
Not only Poorly Placed -
But also Cryptic - and Few and Far Between!

Last Night - Trapped in the Worst Traffic Jam -
In the Heart of Downtown Baltimore -
Heading South on St. Paul Street -
Twenty Minutes - to go - Two Blocks!

Eight Lanes all Converging on Three Lanes -
One Stupid Notice Sign on Left Side -
Which Simply Said:
“Roadwork Ahead.”

No Clue as to - Left or Right!
No Warning Five or Six Blocks Ahead!
No Detour Choice or Direction!
Eight Lanes merged into Two - on the Right Side!

This was Right at The Inner Harbor -
At St. Paul and Pratt Streets!
Which IDIOT was Responsible for Such Chaos?
Would it be - The Mayor Herself?

And Guess What Pilgrims!
Not ONE Worker in Sight!
Just Barrels, Cones, and Barriers!
Brilliant!

Could this Insane Blockade -
Have Been Done Later at Night?
Should it have Been?
Only a Sane Person Might Think So!

In the Midst of this Idiotic Scenario -
There was a Huge FEDEX Truck -
In the Far Right Lane -
Being Bigger than Everyone Else ...

He Inched his Mammoth Vehicle -
Lane by Lane - to the Far Left -
Whereupon he put his Flashers On -
And PARKED to make a Delivery!

Needless to say - Adding to the Jam!
I finally Inched my way in Front of him -
Left Blinker - Left Turn on Baltimore Street -
Right on South Street - Right on Lombard ...

Left on Light Street - and VOILA!
I Zipped PAST All of Them -
Right on Camden - Left on 395 -
And Hit 60 MPH in about 15 Seconds!

HY-YO SILVER ... AND AWAAAAAAY!

I was only an Hour Late for Pool -
Had I Not Noticed his Flashers Immediately -
I Might Still be Sitting There!
Notices? Warnings? NAH! We Don’t Need ‘EM!

The Way I Figger It -
The Transportation Department -
Is Run by IDIOTS!
City - County - State - Everywhere!


© - TKH.


 



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Reviewed by Regis Auffray
A most apt and timely rant, Tom. Thank you. Glad I don't live in a large city; it's bad enough in our relatively small town here. Thank you. Love and peace,

Regis
Reviewed by John Coppolella
I used to work for Georgia DOT. I totally get the anger and frustration the public suffers. Lucky you are indeed if you have crew that cares about the public, though often unknown is if the culprits are contractors or actually public employees. Atlanta has a pothole patrol where people call the news to report potholes, some big enough to drive a car into and disappear. The media gets results quickly, so suggest a a public posse of reporters with cell phones to email the media and get results.
Reviewed by Patrick Granfors
Oh yes can I relate. Here in the land of REAL IDIOTS our legislature is 78 days late on a budget. The DOT has announced next week they will stop work on three major freeway intersection "improvements." Unbelievable. Hmmm I just noticed. D.O.T vs I.D.I.O.T. Way too close for coincidence. Patrick
Reviewed by J'nia Fowler
LOL... didn't you know that it is the people who fail their IQ tests which get hired by these bureaucracies? Proactive thinkers and planners, be gone. Nice write Tom. I think most of us can identify with you here.
Reviewed by Mr. Ed
And Guess What Pilgrims!
Not ONE Worker in Sight!
Just Barrels, Cones, and Barriers!
Brilliant!

It's a nationwide conspiracy - the drug and alcohol companies are behind it - they want to drive you crazy - make you drink more - and then take tons of meds to calm your nerves.

Be Very Careful Out There...
Reviewed by Richard King
Nice figurin' Tom. Where do they get these guys? They must all have to pass a test for stupidity..... Or maybe failure is the requirment. An enjoyable read about pure frustration. Thanks Dick
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