Ode to Edibles
How do I love thee? Let me run it down.
The pleasures I derive from you like raindrops abound.
Your variety, your colors, your aroma, your flavor;
I melt when you’re near me; O sweet treats I savor.
Succulent seafood, thick juicy steaks;
Just to be in your presence I anticipate.
Is there no way to shake your intoxicating effect?
How can I deny you? You’re better than sex.
Potato mounds covered in gravy and such,
Your pillow-like softness I covet so much.
Ice cream, cookies, cakes, pies;
Make me forget those inches you’ll add to my thighs.
Take me away to where fat is okay,
Where we can get more acquainted, and frolic and play.
No critics, no diets, no cholesterol
Will keep me away should you happen to call.
Chinese or American; a platter or buffet;
It is with you I would love to spend many a day.
Food, you are beautiful; you alone are my poison.
You’ve been a life-long friend and whom I get my joy from.
I fear the time has come for this love to end.
But take heart; I will return to you soon, O best friend.