by April Pittman
Friday, November 12, 2010
Rated "PG" by the Author.
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My Last Mistake
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I wonder what your breath would smell like
trapped beneath the hot enclosure of my blanket
with your nose slightly cold and touching mine
and your smile heard as a whispered exhale
I wonder how long we would shift and fidget
to get closer to one another in our cavern
though our knees knock and our arms twist
our foreheads bump and our icy toes scratch
would we give up and allow our lips to collide
or would we roll awkwardly toward one another
and find contentment in our own hushed chatter
would the smell of your skin overwhelm me
as it bakes between us in our warm confinement
and when we capitulated to the need for air
would the chilly draft pinken your cheeks
while we gasp for pure oxygen through our smiles
would it all end with our fingers entwined
and our eyes closed against waking reality
and us continuing our conversation in our dreams
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|Reviewed by Paul Judges
|A great feeling to this poem, April|
|Reviewed by jude forese
|this poems captures the moment with such sensitivity, hidden emotion, and vivid feeling, i found myself continuing its conversation in my dreams ...|
|Reviewed by John Flanagan
|This has the warm, wrap-around feel of a blanket or a good winter coat...sensual, comforting but probing, too, asking deep questions.
Love the unbroken run of thought - complete absence of punctuation - the interior monologue.
This is very fine, April, very fine.
|Reviewed by William DeVault
|Lovely, erotic and well written. Very nice.|
|Reviewed by Regis Auffray
|So powerfully sensually and thoroughly compelling, April. Well done. Love and best wishes,
|Reviewed by Sage Sweetwater
|Passionate metaphors yes you may! It's sensuous and I'd say the fall season brings out the color, April. I love the thought of "continuing our conversation in our dreams"...it's like a cliffhangar dangles and we, your readers get to draw our own conclusion...did they or did they not? Be well.
|Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader)
|I am not sure of the answers to all of these questions, April, but I like the interesting way that you asked them.|