Join Free! | Login 

   Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
Where Authors and Readers come together!

Signed Bookstore | Authors | eBooks | Books | Stories | Articles | Poetry | Blogs | News | Events | Reviews | Videos | Success | Gold Members | Testimonials

Featured Authors: Roger Vizi, iLem Yedowicz, iTom Kitt, iRaymond Sturgis, iWalt Hardester, iJ.-F. Bouchard, iMel Hathorn, i
  Home > Humor > Poetry
Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Patrick A Granfors

  + Follow Me   

· 553 titles
· 6,293 Reviews
· Share with Friends!
· Save to My Library
Member Since: May, 2009

   My Blog
   Contact Author
   Read Reviews

Short Stories
· Strawberry Green Springs

· Transitions

· Drip Line

· Fabulous Eight Bean Soup

· Consequences

· Mighty Fine Stuffed Cabbage Rolls

· Phobos-Grunt Re-entry

· My Second Ozark Boat Ride

· Marinating on my TV

· A Penny For My Thoughts?

· Time for Confusion

· Alzyisms Part 7 - Partial Reconciliation

· Alzyisms - Part 6

· Somebody Blinked

· Bend

· Drink About It

· Dominos

· Standard Issue

· Wisdom of the Wind

· Rainy Day Poem

· Can You Imagine

· The Beer Standard

· Kubic

         More poetry...

Patrick A Granfors, click here to update your web pages on AuthorsDen.

  Literary Pimp
by Patrick A Granfors
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Rated "G" by the Author.

Share   Print   Save

Recent poems by Patrick A Granfors
•  Queen of Broken Hearts
•  Somebody Blinked
•  Drink About It
•  Bend
•  Dominos
           >> View all 528

I'm headed for deep shit here folks, a shameless grovel. She doesn't know about this ploy. Self publishing is a female dog. Ya' gotta help me out. Go to Eileen Clemens Granfors AD Den (see link below) or and buy her new book. (Some rivers end on the day of the dead) Maybe I'll get lucky..Patrick

Literary Pimp


Just for now and just for wife

A literary pimp am I

Extolling all of the virtues

Of the trade that she does ply


She’s fresh out on the market

And just so that you know

You’ll get incredible amusement

For just twelve bucks a throw


I can’t say that she’s a virgin

Because it’s her book number two

But I can tell you for a good time

This is just what you should do


Take your little mousy thing

And point it towards her den

Just this once she will allow

This chance to let you in


Satisfaction guaranteed

Her wares I often sample

This one in particular

Is a mighty fine example


So pony up while the iron’s hot

Your pituitary will be set on fire

She needs to sell herself enough

So that I can soon retire




Copyright 2010 Patrick Granfors








Eileen's Book

Want to review or comment on this poem?
Click here to login!

Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!

Reviewed by Annabel Sheila
Loving spousal support, Patrick....great marketing...

Reviewed by Ronald Hull
And if you don't succeed, you will feel her ire,,,

Reviewed by Regis Auffray
This is some clever and witty ad, Patrick; you should definitely be in Eileen's "good books" now. Love and peace to you,

Reviewed by E T Waldron
Wow! I'd sure love to have a pimp like you,and since it's so familiar, I have to click on Eileen's book;-)

Reviewed by Marcia Miller-Twiford
She's got to reward you for this. Well done Patrick. I wish her many, many sales.

Reviewed by Karen Vanderlaan
what a clever invitation!!
Reviewed by Chessly Nesci
I love this so much I will definitely get a book! The honey rewards will double huh? Very nice, ;)
Reviewed by Eileen Granfors
Hello Patrick's fans,

The man has wit and humor if a little off-beat and odd,

Other than the sexual innuendo, this is a helpful prod.

The AD bookstore does list my book, I'm not sure why the trouble,

But if you choose to buy, PLEASE DO! Mister's honey rewards will double.

If you can't get it through AD's Bookstore (check their SIGNED BOOKS book store under my name or YA books), you can buy from Amazon or message me with an address and the book will be on its way (signed!) next week.

Anything for a tail like this Patrick. You do have a way with the tongue I say! Bless ya!
Reviewed by Richard King
OHHHHH What a sweetheart you are. That's probably one of the best "Honey Doo's" you've ever Honey Doed. The check's in the mail. Dick
Reviewed by Christine Tsen
Bravely and openly catchy Patrick!
I'm gearing up to get a few books, and I'll be sure to include hers.
Listen, you are doing the right thing! For years we woman have been invisible behind the men (look at Einstein's wife, for instance...and the two guys that are credited with discovery of DNA, the woman who truly discovered it, oh I'm sorry to be going off a bit) anyway, so stand on the street corner for her if you have to. (And when is your book coming out? I would like a copy of that in my hands too)!
Reviewed by Mr. Ed
WOW - your spouse is very lucky. My spouse never pimps my books, she just constantly yells at me to pooper scoop and clean litter boxes!
Reviewed by Paul Berube
Good example of internet marketing at its best. Nicely done, Patrick.
Reviewed by Mark Lichterman
Okay! So, okay already. One good turn deserves another and I'll buy your wife's book already...Jeeeze!!
Reviewed by Ed Matlack
Screw that, besides the fact that $12. is alot of money in this economy, I don't want you to retire...who's gonna pay the gov't to keep payin' me on unemployment, if you do...? ed
Popular Poetry (Humor)
  1.  My UnWanted Birthday
  3.  The Thrill is Gone
  4.  Sunny Days and Mondays
  5.  An old hippie lives here...
  6.  One of Those Days
  7.  Hello, I'm Mister ED...
  8.  Mushmouth Kostro...
  9.  OMG, it's freakin' HOT...
  10.  Smile, Darn It

Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us

Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.