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Patrick A Granfors

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  Improbable Word Origins
by Patrick A Granfors
Monday, January 10, 2011
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Recent poems by Patrick A Granfors
•  Queen of Broken Hearts
•  Somebody Blinked
•  Drink About It
•  Bend
•  Dominos
           >> View all 528

You never know:

  • Do – to accomplish something (self explanatory)
  • Dodo – derivative (antonym) of “do” – derogatory label applied for having failed to accomplish something
  • Doo doo – derivative of “dodo” – Now conditional, often measured in terms of depth for having failed to accomplish something when specifically asked twice.


  • Ca. – Moronic convention for abbreviation of state names, in this case the State of California
  • Ca Ca – derivative of “Ca.” – Both conditional and descriptive, often measured in terms of depth (see doo doo), for the legislator’s failure to accomplish anything positive in recent history.


  • Failsafe – Oxymoron derivative of “fail” & safe”, hence, fail to be safe. Typical protection measures applied to governmental financial and security programs


  • Welfare – Derivative of “well” and “fare”, the generational dismemberment of the community well, done at the expense of the taxpayers who pick up the tab to cart away the pieces.


  • Airline – Derivative of “air” and “line”, the diabolical description of the mass of passengers awaiting their opportunity to catch a flight.


  •  Toiletry – Odd derivative of “toilet” and “try”, rendered archaic by the invention of laxatives.


  • Network – Derivative of “net” and “work”, a mathematical extrapolation of the amount of work accomplished after the “gross” work is completed


  • Computers – Slang derivative of “Computerus, “ the electronic equivalent to the womb complete with umbilical cord.


  •  Captivating – Past tense derivative of “captive eating” which describes some forms of cannibalism.


  • Politics – Latin derivative of “poly” and “ticks,” perfectly describing the residents of Capitol Hill.






Copyright © 2011 Patrick Granfors



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Reviewed by Chessly Nesci 1/13/2011
Love this!! Very clever!! I would like to read more of your improbable word origins! ~Chessly
Reviewed by Ronald Hull 1/12/2011
The brain's been busy.

Reviewed by Regis Auffray 1/12/2011
Clever and informative; thank you for the lesson, Patrick. I love words. Love and peace,

Reviewed by Annabel Sheila 1/11/2011
Giggle.....this is awesome, Patrick!

Reviewed by Kate Burnside 1/11/2011
Sheer brilliance, Pa-trick! Please conjure us up a few more big-daddy dos! xx
Reviewed by Peter Schlosser (Reader) 1/11/2011
who knew? i wonder if the word lax, like loose in standards, derives from laxative????
Reviewed by Mr. Ed 1/11/2011
And don't forget that we're all in big Doo Doo these days because of people like the ones now winning the yearly Dodo Awards.
Reviewed by Karen Palumbo 1/10/2011
Interesting definitions worth pondering over...

Be always safe,
Reviewed by The Poetess 1/10/2011
Thanks again for a good laugh. Your creativity amazes me.
Reviewed by Chip Bergeron 1/10/2011
Ooooohhh!!!!!! GOOD definitions....

Chip Bergeron
Reviewed by JASMIN HORST SEILER 1/10/2011
Canibalizing the english word chest, you have a way to cut right to the bone, the funny bone. Thanks for the smirk, Hugs! Jasmin Horst
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