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Patrick A Granfors

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  Splish Splash
by Patrick A Granfors
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Recent poems by Patrick A Granfors
•  Queen of Broken Hearts
•  Somebody Blinked
•  Drink About It
•  Bend
•  Dominos
           >> View all 528

I've been buried under a steaming heap of work for the past 10 days or so. The price of a little time off.

Now you know me, I try not to be too hard on people’s misfortune, and despite the fact that rampant stupidity played a part in this national amusement treasure I would have let this one go. BUT now Cathy Cruz Marrero’s has lawyered up and is filing suit against the Berkshire Mall, where she works, in Reading Pennsylvania for her self inflicted national embarrassment. Now bear in mind she is literally unidentifiable in the video that went viral and only after SHE came forward to the media to claim her lawsuit lottery invitation did the public know who she actually was. And oh by the way, did I mention she is facing FELONY charges for charging a few thousand dollars on a friend’s credit card without permission. In most places that is called stealing.

Let me define stupidity

I can count the ways

Falling right into a fountain

Walking in a texting daze


Text chatting with a church mate

Just before the dreadful deed

A marvelous sense of humor

The man upstairs does have indeed


He didn’t have her crash her car

Or get run over by a train

He taught a harmless lesson

But it seems to be in vain


She found herself a lawyer

And now she’ll make them pay

I hope the judge rules frivolous

And sends her on her way


She’s made herself notorious

And exposed her criminal side

Sometimes when you are stupid

There's just nowhere you can hide






Copyright 2011© Patrick Granfors







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Reviewed by Regis Schilken 2/15/2011
Too funny. Are you not afraid of being sued for writing your poem about this woman or should we just call her a "retard."

Reviewed by Ronald Hull 1/26/2011
Thanks for clarifying this viral felony for me. Stupidity is reaching high places these days.

Reviewed by Karen Vanderlaan 1/24/2011
well done!
Reviewed by Annabel Sheila 1/24/2011
Hahaha! Funny story...and told with your usual fabulous wit! Love Chip Bergeron's comments! giggle

Reviewed by E T Waldron 1/23/2011
Fantastic! I agree totally, she should be made to pay for her crimes!
Reviewed by Chip Bergeron 1/23/2011
That's what happens when there are no lifeguards at the gene pool!!!

Chip Bergeron
Reviewed by Mr. Ed 1/23/2011
He didn’t have her crash her car
Or get run over by a train
He taught a harmless lesson
But it seems to be in vain

Alas, most lessons today seem to be in vain.

Reviewed by Mark Lichterman 1/22/2011
Oh, God, how true! How could this woman blame anyone but herself for her monumental stupidity. Great, wholly truthful poem, my friend.
Reviewed by Ed Matlack 1/22/2011
I'ma gonna get me a lawyer & sue you for speakin' poorly about all us stupid peoples out here...those of us who are stupid are very sensitive about it...;-) ed
Reviewed by Elizabeth Price 1/22/2011
lol. I needed some humor. Too bad it's at the expense of another. I think she deserves it. Oh my, I'm being judgemental, maybe because I obey the laws. Love it. Liz
Reviewed by The Poetess 1/22/2011
I love the way your poetry flows, Patrick. I dare not fully trust the news for I have experienced it's manipulative side. But this story seems sort of obvious.

She will probably win,
If she is indeed a thief,
Because thieves usually do,
In this world that often pays
Those who step on me and you.
Reviewed by Peter Schlosser (Reader) 1/22/2011
i hadn't run across this one yet; but i agree with the "no shortage of idiots" premise set forth here. hope you're doing well my friend, been a while since i seen you round these parts!!
Reviewed by Paul Berube 1/22/2011
Excellent write, Patrick. And right on the money, too. She doesn't deserve a dime for her stupidity and yes, I laughed my head off when I saw it. Frivolous indeed.
Reviewed by Christine Tsen 1/22/2011
Humorous insights Patrick!
Your true-life poetic stories enlighten and uplift!
Reviewed by Richard King 1/22/2011
If you read my recent poem, THE NEWS, you'll probably understand that I have no knowledge of this event. However, your poem tells me all that I need to know. Splendidly done Patrick, as always. Thanks for keeping me informed. Dick

PS - quoting one of my Dickism's "DICKISM #29 “We need a lot more Jack Bower’s (a character from the TV series 24) in our world and a lot less whimpering, shriveled dick, prissy assed judges worrying about criminals rights.”
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