I rushed home

Kicking off my shoes

As I jammed the key to unlock the door

 

I rushed to the phone

Scanning the caller id

Looking for your number

Seeing if you called

 

I stood in silence...

For a moment

Taking a deep breath

Slowly walking up the stairs

Taking a moment to unravel my tie

Unbutton my shirt

While staring at the blank wall before me

 

 

Five long minutes I sat

 

Five minutes of staring at a blank wall

Soaking it all in

Feeling the nervousness

I felt yesterday when I called you

 

My hands shook as I began to dial your number I

remember placing the phone down a few times

Attempting to gather up the courage

To find something to say

Finding it hard to stand still

As your phone rang just one time

 

Damn!

 

I left a message

width="560" height="794" v:shapes="_x0000_s1027" "" src="file:///C:/DOCUME~1/Emily/LOCALS~1/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image002.jpg" />Placing the phone on my desk as I hung up

 

An indescribable feeling of emptiness came over me

As if the rug I was walking on

Was suddenly pulled from under me

 

Sometimes

I find myself walking in the rain

Allowing it to beat down on my face

As cars speed by

 

Many nights like tonight

I stay in my room

With the lights off

The music low

Thinking

 

Thinking of the highs and lows of life

About you

How depressed I am

Thinking of the pain

I feel with each step

Every breath

Every day of my life

 

Wishing that this would end

And things could go back

To the way they used to be

So that I could look myself in the mirror each morning

And smile