David A. Schwinghammer
· Soldier's Gap
· Soldier's Gap
· Mengele's Double, Chapter 9
· Seminary Boy, a memoir
· Fisher of Men, Chapter Nine
· Soldier's Gap, Chapter Three
· Honest Thief, Tender Murderer, Chapter Nine
· Fisher of Men, Chapter 8
· Honest Thief, Tender Murderer, Chapter Eight
· Mengele's Double, Chapter Eight
· Bereavement Blues
· Fisher of Men, Chapter 7
· Fire Lover, a True Story, book review
· Missoula, book review
· Another Shakespeare Doubter, book review
· Flights of Passage, book review
· The Lusitania, book review
· The Wilderness of Ruin, book review
· A Beautiful Mind, book review
· Another Planet, book review
· The Three Stooges, book review
· The God Particle
· Widow's Peak
· Alumni Game
· The Do Drop Inn
· Ode to Neve Campbell
· Jacks or Better 101
· Never My Love
David A. Schwinghammer, click here
to update your web pages on AuthorsDen.
Books by David A. Schwinghammer
Dorothy Parker doesn't know guys.
“Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses”
Humorist Dorothy Parker notably said.
Bosh! Guys’ll make passes at any girl dead or alive!
Sexperts at porn sites love girls wearing specs
Librarians ‘n profs ‘n nurses, all sorts of nearsighted fems.
They prefer them to Jenna or Shyla
They like them single and they like them in pairs.
Some say guys won’t moves on girls o’er two-ninety
But Rembrandt and Rubins preferred them large and hefty
Balderdash! Guys won’t scorn Kristie Alley for a roll in the hay
And’ll definitely do Oprah any old day.
Some claim flat-chested women the boys they sure hate
But there’s Goldie Hawn and her daughter Kate.
Ugly women often beg for a date, but when the hour’s late
and the drinks accumulate.
Guys ain’t that choosey
Margaret Rutherford’ll do or even Moms Mabley
When horny, a guy'll mount a knothole and not even mind
He’ll spend a fortune for a mail order bride, the rubber kind
At $79.95 she’s cheap at twice the price.
She won’t talk back, and she washes up nice.
No, a guy’s not fussy a girl should know,
Just give him time, and he’ll give you a go.
Dave Schwinghammer's novel, SOLDIER'S GAP, is available on Amazon.com, new and used.
Want to review or comment on this
Click here to login!
Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!
|Reviewed by Lily of Lough Neagh C. Dennis-Woosley
|I am so laughing! I was called four eyes all through school being one who grew up in the 50's to 60's era. Those lovely cat glasses. Trust me, no soul was making a pass at me! But what a marvelous poem! Left me with many smiles|
|Reviewed by Sandi Schraut
|Oh my goodness! Well as a mom to 3 sons I reluctantly admit what you say may have some valid points. I do tell my middle son that quality is more important than quantity, to no avail! I wish it were different! Great insight!|
|Reviewed by Regis Schilken
|You are right about one thing; men will make passes--'tis the nature of the beast even when one gets as old as I.
|Reviewed by Robert Cosmar
|This is so amusing ... and true, David. Those were the good ol' days, ah yes, an interesting write and such fun to read.
|Reviewed by JMS Bell
|WELL WRITTEN AND I WOULD THINK THAT A GUY DOESN'T HAVE TO BE 'HORNY' TO MAKE A WISE CHOICE...JUST UN-NARROW MINDED...AND FULL OF GOD'S VOICE. GOOD RHYME AND RHYTHM. THANKS FOR SHARING. LOVE, BLESSINGS AND FAITH...JOYCE * HIS INSPIRATIONS|