firmitas
by Alan Abrams
Friday, April 06, 2012
Rated "PG" by the Author.
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a work in process |
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building starts with retromotion—
backhoe bucket, lunging, plunging into the earth,
engine burdened, black smoke belching--
burnished teeth rending, bucket lifting, heaped with black soil--
that first pungent scoop, perfume to a builder’s nose
* * *
sun breaks over tops of trees--
and where the light descends into the pit,
it aurifies the ochre floor, on which I stand,
gravedeep, in my private room--
surrounded by these layered walls, roofed over by the perfect sky
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| Reviewed by Diana Legun |
4/9/2012 |
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| This piece presents to me, an anti-development slant with words in the first stanza of 'burnished teeth', 'belching,' 'heaped' and then slips in a positive note of "perfume to a builder's nose." The second stanza is full of earth and air appreciation and juxtaposing 'freedom' of sun, trees, light, perfect sky . . with pit and gravedeep. It feels like the story of life; we notice 'in my private room' the contrast of intruder and intrudee. Everywhere. Mural of a happening in this. ~~ Diana |
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| Reviewed by Joel Sattler |
4/9/2012 |
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| Good stuff. |
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| Reviewed by Ronald Hull |
4/7/2012 |
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A vivid description of new construction. Perhaps a rebuilt life.
Ron |
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| Reviewed by C. McGovern-Bowen |
4/7/2012 |
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| nicely done, alan. |
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| Reviewed by John Flanagan |
4/6/2012 |
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the first stanza is rich in image
of doing, Alan, but the second
moves to another level, the inner construction,
the human condition
this is fine work indeed
john |
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| Reviewed by Joyce Bell |
4/6/2012 |
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AWESOME WORK...BRINGING ALL OF THE ELEMENTS TOGETHER...HIGH AND LOW...THAT GIVES YOU JOY AND PEACE. CERTAINLY, MUCH 'WORK' GOING ON HERE. THANKS FOR SHARING. LOVE, BLESSINGS AND FAITH...
JOYCE * HIS INSPIRATIONS |
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| Reviewed by jude forese |
4/6/2012 |
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| enjoyed how you constructed the ambiance of this poem ... |
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