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Patrick A Granfors

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Member Since: May, 2009

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Short Stories
· Strawberry Green Springs

· Transitions

· Drip Line

· Fabulous Eight Bean Soup

· Consequences

· Mighty Fine Stuffed Cabbage Rolls

· Phobos-Grunt Re-entry

· My Second Ozark Boat Ride

· Marinating on my TV

· A Penny For My Thoughts?

· Time for Confusion

· Alzyisms Part 7 - Partial Reconciliation

· Alzyisms - Part 6

· Somebody Blinked

· Bend

· Drink About It

· Dominos

· Standard Issue

· Wisdom of the Wind

· Rainy Day Poem

· Can You Imagine

· The Beer Standard

· Kubic

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  Spring Chicken
by Patrick A Granfors
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Recent poems by Patrick A Granfors
•  Queen of Broken Hearts
•  Somebody Blinked
•  Drink About It
•  Bend
•  Dominos
           >> View all 528

Fair warning gentlemen.

“I know you’re no spring chicken,”

The rooster rudely crowed

“Your little comb flaps when you walk

Because you’re pigeon toed”


“Your breasts they are a-saggin’

And your feather’s turnin’ gray

But still I gotta service you

So that them eggs you’ll lay”


With that he did his barnyard mount

But the chicken held on tight

She had him where it counted

And hung on with all her might


Soon his eyes began to spin

As he flapped his wings in vain

He begged her to release him

Then he passed out from the pain


The scene caused such commotion

The farmer came to check their coop

He caught his rooster fast asleep

So he turned him into soup


The moral of this story

If you choose to mock your mate

You’ll end up in hot water

And she’ll have your estate






Copyright © 2012 Patrick Granfors



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Reviewed by Eileen Granfors 4/18/2012
Oh, honestly, That's what he gets for dragging ageism into it!
Reviewed by Lonnie Hicks 4/17/2012
Made me laugh. Thanks for the good cheer this morning.
Reviewed by Elizabeth Russo 4/17/2012
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh this was such fun! Thanks for the great big smile this morning! ~Elizabeth
Reviewed by Paul Berube 4/16/2012
;-) lol well done
Reviewed by Annabel Sheila 4/16/2012
Hahahahahahahahahaha! Nuff' said!

Reviewed by Karen Vanderlaan 4/16/2012
Reviewed by Mary Ann Biddinger 4/16/2012
Whimsy tale Patrick. Fun to read and laugh !!!!
Lady Mary Ann
Reviewed by Mr. Ed 4/16/2012
Is your wife out of town again??!!
Reviewed by pat medlin 4/15/2012
oh patrick...wonder where you'll roost tonight
Reviewed by Vivian Dawson 4/15/2012
Whimsal delight until dinnertime
*Patrick* as you set the table!!

Lady Vivian
Reviewed by Ronald Hull 4/15/2012
I buy everything but the chicken breasts. Ever see a little chick suckling? Only the human female variety.

Reviewed by jude forese 4/15/2012
hopefully, she'll refrain from cutting off your cock-a-doodle-doo ...
Reviewed by Richard King 4/15/2012
Just what we all need, some barnyard hussy killing the mood, then some dastardly old farmer turning us into food.... But what a way to go out.

Still laughing, Dick

Another old one….. Why don’t chickens pee????? Because they eat with their pecker
Reviewed by Tom Hyland 4/14/2012



Reviewed by JASMIN HORST SEILER 4/14/2012
Roses are red, violets are blue, and the hen she cries, a cock a cock will do. Bless ya!
Reviewed by Debby Rosenberg 4/14/2012
Reviewed by John Coppolella 4/14/2012
The grand finale, at the last he learned not to deny her, when the cock crew thrice!

Reviewed by Jerry Bolton 4/14/2012
Yuk.Yuk. . . . er . . . Cluck.Cluck.
Reviewed by Mark Lichterman 4/14/2012
Uh, is this called "Chicky Porno"?
Cute... cute ... cute
Reviewed by Ed Matlack 4/14/2012
Personal experience, Pat...?

  1. Just Around The Corner
  2. Yes
  3. Cell Phone Blues
  4. Catching Up With The Past
  5. What Part Of No Don't You Understand?
  7. Sadie Graylow
  8. Halloween is Coming!
  9. Mushmouth Kostro...
  10. Surgery, again..
  11. 'Nere Do Wells
  12. A Southern Gentleman...
  13. Reincarnation
  14. The Toilet Seat
  15. A Cool Guy
  16. Interaction
  17. My Good Friday Procedure
  18. A Guitar
  19. The Smithereens
  20. Gary's Ghostly Bar & Grill

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