Join | Login  

     Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
Where Authors and Readers come together!


Featured Authors:  Kim Lambert, iJames Boyle, iPamela Taeuffer, iRobert Orfali, iByron Edgington, ialex canton-dutari, iJoe, i

  Home > Poetry > Poetry
Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     
Jeffrey B Stein

· Become a Fan
· Contact me
· Poetry
· 5 Titles
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
Member Since: Oct, 2006

Jeffrey B Stein, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.

Featured Book
Truth Seeker: Bible Topics
by Warren Mueller

Have You Ever Wondered What The Bible Really Says? Then Truth Seeker: Bible Topics is for you! ..  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members

Featured Book
Phil the Pill and Friends Making Positive Choices
by M. Pritchard

Phil's goal is to encourage kids to stay in school, learn how to read and make positive choices in life...  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members

Popular Poetry (Poetry)
  1.  in honor of
  2.  Blue Morpho
  3.  Life and a Love
  4.  Free Spirit
  5.  Learning Experence
  6.  Australian storm
  7.  For Emily
  8.  Water Baby
  9.  Your Own Nuclear Power
  10.  Traveler's Lament
  11.  I'm So Happy
  12.  Woodsmoke and Possibility....
  13.  Defeat
  14.  I Wish I Could Tell You...
  15.  Eclipse
  16.  Springtime Breeze
  17.  Morning Thoughts
  18.  larger voice
  19.  Last Birthday
  20.  My Scars

Give Me That Old Time Religion
by Jeffrey B Stein
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Rated "G" by the Author.
Share   Print  Save   Become a Fan

Recent poems by Jeffrey B Stein
•  Gone Forever
•  Black Ship of Memories
•  Love A Long Time Ago
•  The Emancipation of Emma M
           >> View all 5

This is not the way God wanted to be worshiped.

Christ himself came knocking on my door
acting as if he were a Jehovah’s witness;
“Got a minute?” he asked.
“Sorry,” I replied,
“I have places to go,
people to see,
leave a card,
we will do lunch some day.”

“Sorry?” he said
as he stuck his Birkenstocks in the door.
With a face filled with humility, kindness and confusion
he spoke softly to me,
“I’m offering you salvation and redemption,
a chance to join me in heaven.”

I laughed as politely as I could,
“yesterday, my dear sir,
I was visited by a man
who offered me, in your name I might add,
all the things that you have just offered
but threw in at no cost
your words recorded on twelve cassette tapes
or four compact discs
along with a ninety minute
‘Work out with the Son of God’ video.
He said I would be shown the way to all my dreams
and I could pay in five easy installments
or call a convenient ‘900’ number as well.
Yes, he said, he was going to make the
road to atonement easy
and quite affordable.”

“I don’t understand,” answered Christ.

“Listen, my dear friend,” I continued
as I showed him my last year’s tax return.
“see this list of itemized deductions;
I bought American Flags from Reverend Jerry,
a piece of God’s Amusement Park from Tammy Faye,
I helped Reverend Jimmy rent motel rooms
so he could examine sin first hand,
I kept Oral from a meeting with his master – your father,
I have taken Bnai Brith tours
to the land of my persecutors,
even burned enough incense
to alarm environmentalists and the like.
So I think that I have paid for my absolution
and all that I really need
is a room with a view,
pay-per-view TV and an endless supply of Diet Pepsi
and my days of eternity will be quite okay with me.”

Christ shrugged his shoulders
and wiped away a tear.
“This is not the way,”
he mumbled
as he picked up his cross
and walked slowly away.

Want to review or comment on this poem?
Click here to login!

Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!

Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us

Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
© AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.