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Richard Lee King

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Fractured Fables #11 - Mother Goose
by Richard Lee King

Sunday, June 17, 2012
Rated "PG13" by the Author.
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Fractured Fables are my bastardized versions of childhood rhymes and stories. They would never be considered worthy of being in a children’s book.

 

 
FRACTURED FABLE
 # 11 – MOTHER GOOSE
 
Mother Goose
was very loose
and sometimes it got her in trouble.
 
She had problems with Jill
trying to get her on the pill
but later her problems would double.
 
Jack left Jill
sent Mother the bill
ran off with a girl from the shoe.
 
Jill didn’t tarry
in a hurry to marry
she hooked up with Little Boy Blue.
 
The three little pigs
nearly flipped their wigs
hearing she had lain with the wolf.
 
and our own Little Red
said she’d kill her dead
if ever she saw any proof.
 
Little Miss Muffit
was avoiding the tuffit
cause she was afraid of the spider.
 
Rewriting the story
put Mother Goose in her glory
in her heart she was always a writer.
 
Now Jack, (from the beanstalk)
refused even to talk
for fear she’d rewrite his treasure.
 
The three little kittens
burned up their mittens
as a sign of their displeasure
 
and Peter Peter
the pumpkin eater
decided to change his ways.
 
No longer married
his wife now buried
he was simply counting his days.
 
Humpty Dumpty
had gotten kinda lumpy
after being routinely scrambled.
 
Now when he walked
or even talked
most often he simply rambled
 
and Little Bo Peep
who sleeps with her sheep
has been causing quite a stir.
 
Though Mother Goose
had gotten real loose
she hadn’t expected it from her.
 
Mary and her lambs
are looking for rams
seems all of em are really horny.
 
Now all Mother’s lines
and most of her rhymes
seem to sound kinda porny.
 
 
Copyright © 2011 Richard Lee King.  All Rights Reserved.
 
 

 

 

 

 

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Reviewed by Annabel Sheila 6/19/2012
Laughing out loud!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is hilarious, Richard!!! Very well penned....and thanks for the laughter!

Anna
Reviewed by La Belle Rouge Poetess Of The Heart 6/18/2012
This is priceless, thanks for brightening my day.
Reviewed by Jane Noponen Perinacci 6/17/2012
I am still laughing while I'm writing this! That was great!

Love ya!

Jane
Reviewed by Budd Nelson 6/17/2012
Richard,
ahhh...the ryhmes the way they should be told..to us at least only you could have come up with this.
Budd
Reviewed by Ronald Hull 6/17/2012
Porny that's for sure! That was a good laugh. When you wrote about Mother Goose being loose, it got me thinking about an old story:

Errol Flynn was a rascal all his life. As a teenager, he learned that ducks were loose. So, he tied a piece of greasy bacon to a string, and fed it to one duck after another until he had several ducks strung together. What kind of a Mother Goose rhyme to make of that?

Ron
Reviewed by Ed Matlack 6/17/2012
Whats so fractured about these? I thought they were how the fables really were...at least for the adult version...;-) e
Reviewed by Jerry Bolton 6/17/2012
I wrote a poem called Betty Boop Was a Slut. Had Dick Tracy, Popeye, and all many of other characters from the funnies.

Anyway, I found this to me very amusing and cool. I was always kinda suspicious of Little Bo Peep, I gotta be honest.
Reviewed by Donna Chandler 6/17/2012
Very clever. Nursery rhymes will never be the same.

Donna



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