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Do you see me?
I said DO YOU SEE ME?
You say such pretty things.
But the words flown like phoenix
from your mouth,
turn to dust before they reach the sun.
You can't even bring truth to your voice,
and your eyes hollows empty.
You can't bring yourself to look at me
with desire.
All that was is lost
and I beg and plead and cry.
But my words are torn to pieces,
before they reach that impenetrable shield.
They are thrown back like missiles
in stealth. But I can still see.
All is lost
as I beg, plead and cry.
I have lost my appeal.
Once supple, desirable, beautiful,
now empty, grey and dull.
All is lost
as I crawl, bow and cry.
as I beg, plead and die.
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| Reviewed by Dark Knight |
8/2/2012 |
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| I love your poetry--full of desire passion romance |
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| Reviewed by John Flanagan |
7/6/2012 |
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yes, it is a beautiful poem, Elisabeth,
and it's also very moving and demanding
on the emotions..but if this is personal
shake yourself into strength and self-assertion,
it's the only way.
the writing is fine indeed.
Strength to you!
john |
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| Reviewed by Asa Seeley |
6/24/2012 |
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sad...when its too little, too late...and this can't be accepted. sad because...'healing'...can't begin until this can be accepted. thanks for sharing
asa |
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| Reviewed by Ronald Hull |
6/24/2012 |
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I'm with the others. Your poem is cathartic, but only prolongs your agony' causing you to be dependent on him for your love. You must recognize that you are still young and beautiful and that is only words that you are hearing that are trying to make you more dependent instead of free. Once you recognize that you are your own person and you don't need him, you'll be on your way to free yourself from his influence.
It's a beautiful poem, crying out for help, and we heard. But we can do nothing but encourage you and it is only you that can start writing beautiful poetry about something you love to write about.
The |
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| Reviewed by Budd Nelson |
6/24/2012 |
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Elizabeth,
I agree with Jerry. Stomp and yell,,then leave him behind for someone who will treat you better.
Budd |
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| Reviewed by Jerry Bolton |
6/23/2012 |
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| Don't beg, plead and cry. You're still appealing, supple, desirable and beautiful. Don't beg, plead and cry, instead shout, stomp your feet and laugh in his face as you turn and walk away . . . |
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