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Alexander Nderitu

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Tom Cruise is My Dad (And Other Blatant Lies)
by Alexander Nderitu

Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Rated "PG" by the Author.
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Recent poems by Alexander Nderitu
•  The Moon is Made of Green Cheese
•  The Death of Journalism
•  Paradise is Lost
•  Miss Venus
•  Silver Limousine
           >> View all 19

Truth and lies twisted to bring out a touching message...


 

Hi. My name is Alex and I am a habitual liar. I go around saying things like…

Tom Cruise is my dad,
Brock Lesnar is my bodyguard,
I can run rings around Usain Bolt,
I was the man on the grassy knoll,
I’ve slept with Beyoncé Knowles,
I taught Jackie Chan everything he knows
(But I didn’t teach him everything I know),
Spiderman got caught in a tangled web,
Elizabeth Taylor has never wed,
Roses are blue and violets are red,
I invented the World Wide Web,
Mother Teresa was richer than billionaire Ted,
Elton John and Ellen Degeneres are getting married,
I’ve got a diamond bigger than the Pink Panther,
The Best Hip Hop Album Award goes to Bill Gaither!
I can rap faster that Twista,
The judge’s verdict on Bill Clinton was that “Viagra works”,
No, honey, you don’t look fat in that,
The cheque’s in the mail,
I wasn’t laughing AT you, I was laughing WITH you,
I can stop smoking any time I want to

And so on…

But the biggest lie I’ve ever told
Was when I told everyone I know
That I never loved you
And your leaving didn’t mean a thing
Because the day you left was the darkest day of my life
And all the lies were an attempt to cover up the void inside.
In fact, if I wrote the story of my life
And failed to confess my love for you
And the book somehow turned out to be worth its weight in gold,
Then it would be THE GREATEST LIE THAT’S EVER BEEN SOLD!

(c) Alex N Nderitu

 

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Reviewed by Keith Rowley 9/25/2012
You have g great sense of humor and irony combined and your writing has a staccato flow. Excellent stuff Alexander.
Reviewed by Ronald Hull 9/13/2012
Now that's a rap I understand! When you put It down in words. I like what you've written here, filled with humor and little bits of truth and a wonderful confession with a twist on the last word. Good stuff!

Ron



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