Sunrise Like Sunset Dance Playfully Through Me
by Chris G Vaillancourt
Saturday, September 15, 2012
Rated "G" by the Author.
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Sunrise like sunset dance playfully through me,
With visions soft of dangling eyes, my heart.
I caress you in my mind, sighing happy
That touching you suggests fear to depart.
Morning and evening are but the same time,
For each becomes celestial space for us.
Like fragrant flowers at their dancing prime,
Your silence loud in its strong warm adjust.
Illusions are always vague and unclear,
Of happy and sad, longing and desire.
Of things left vacant other desperate cheer,
Through what we were and what we expired.
My love, you will always be the sun to me,
With heart inclined to constant memory.
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|Reviewed by Phyllis Jean Green
|Romantic and sweet. So good to know there are a lot of other romantics who refuse to give in to crassness and cynicism.
x:)x Phyllis x:)x
N: Jerry's right about the dangling eyes; maybe something like "with visions of your soft, tantalizing eyes?" Maybe w/o soft? Just a thought. Don't mean to meddle!
|Reviewed by Paul Judges
|Very well written, Chris|
|Reviewed by Ronald Hull
|You did have me coming and going… I'm not sure which because both sunrise and sunset are the same in your lovers eyes.
|Reviewed by Jerry Bolton
|I had to laugh at this . . . "With visions soft of dangling eyes," as I visualized dangling eyes.
Other than that the sonnet is well-written and lovely. I'd seriously try to get rid of the dangling eyes though.