An Ode To You
by Tasha Edwards
Tuesday, November 12, 2002
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flash back, back slaps, back biting,
breaking up, separating, reuniting
under false pretenses, glimpses of
dreams, shot down by mean words of
discouragement, memories of my back
against the wall, my head being pushed
to the ground, the threat of harm if I
made a sound, the feeling of being
a clown in a seven ring circus,
six of them against one of us,
deep seeded feelings of mistrust,
secrets demanded to be kept hush hush,
the rush to silence me, even in the violence of
this is an ode to you, my past..
while I am sometimes haunted by
whips of betrayal, breaches of trust,
reminders of half-ass commitments,
all validated by my usual contentment,
I just ain't with it no more...
recollections of being smothered
with my own sleeve, beaten with my
own love, misquoted, misunderstood,
mishandled, left in shambles...
when I realized that I was more likely to
commit suicide than homicide, I had to
open my eyes...
I valued the lives, feelings and hearts
of those who hurt me and didn't give a
damn about my own survival...
this is an ode to you, my past...