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Erin E Kelly-Moen

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Member Since: Oct, 2002

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What Is With Me?
by Erin E Kelly-Moen

Monday, November 25, 2002
Not rated by the Author.
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Recent poems by Erin E Kelly-Moen
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           >> View all 1,663

I am restless, foolish,
wasteful of time,
believing in rhyme, I
love to be me, even though
I DO see, the lives I've been shown,
I know I have grown...but...

I want to be free,
to not worry about me, to
write and to think,
to be my own link, to
stay in my shell, because
reality's hell, I want...

("I want" are the words
that cut me like swords,
from the mouths of my girls,
scudding personalities curl
into battle position,
no prisoners taken.)

I want to set free,
the wonder of me, I'm
afraid when I die,
when I've eaten my pie,
and wasted my life,
I will not be safe, I want...

("I want", in the now,
a ridiculous vow,
is all that is heard
from mouths of the world,
no future seen here,
I'm tired this year.)

I can't be sent free,
have to banish the me,
in entirety, 'cause
I am really not my,
though the "me" isn't free,
I now am the we.

Erin Elizabeth Kelly-Moen
Copyright 11/25/02


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Reviewed by Micha Julian 11/27/2002
OH MY...So ... so much here and yes, beautifully done in rhyme...oh, you are gifted, oh yes...
I, oh, just this also hit home, touched my inside 'me'? or...?
This is extraordinaily well done and I, oh...you are sooooo good! :-)
thank you,
mi
Reviewed by Ed Lupinacci (Reader) 11/26/2002
On the whole this was simply flawless
each verse exploring a different state of affairs I especially liked this one
("I want" are the words
that cut me like swords,
from the mouths of my girls,
scudding personalities curl
into battle position,
no prisoners taken.)

I bow to your talent

Reviewed by Joel Raja Kumar J 11/26/2002
Erin, rhyming poems have their own allure and you surely do it beautifully.

Love from India - Joel -
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 11/26/2002
deep and thought provoking write, but a good write, nevertheless. enjoyed this, erin! love, your friend, karen lynn. (((HUGS))) :)
Reviewed by Sally Montoye 11/26/2002
Wonderful!! me, unfree believing to be, as I Am true reality, united we stand indivisibly
I love this poem Erin!!! Great work
Reviewed by Tim Horton (Reader) 11/26/2002
Lovely flow, and like Malachy i'm more into free verse than rhyme. Only downside....it kind of trailed and a little repetitive near the end. Otherwise, excellent!
Cheers,
Tim
Reviewed by Kate Clifford 11/26/2002
This one is wonderful! and well written.
Reviewed by Malachy MacFarlane (Reader) 11/26/2002
As The Voice said, please NEVER give up on rhyme, lately I have been writing a lot more free verse than rhyme however to me, rhyming poetry will always symbolise the art in its truest form. Now get off the internet!! *lol*. Mal.
Reviewed by *********** ********** (Reader) 11/25/2002
Love it, love it, truly....bloody love it..Hey! You rhyme real well *wink*
Reviewed by na na (Reader) 11/25/2002
the me and the I and the you and the he, whatever whatever is gonna' be. Like little Jack Horner sittin' in a corner, do I have to sit here till the end of eternity?
Oh mighty one tell me please who can I be? Who you be? the I and the me and the you. Let's wait and see. The others give you too much credit for sanity. Not I the Mad Hatter of the AD. Bill (((hugs)))
Reviewed by Paul Mc Cann 11/25/2002
I think you deserve a gold medal for this well structured poem .
Its a credit to your talent .
Reviewed by Ted Sheridan (Reader) 11/25/2002
Very deep.
Reviewed by E T Waldron 11/25/2002
excellent insightful reflections...great rhythm and rhyme
Reviewed by Jack Roberts 11/25/2002
Great write Erin!
Jack
Reviewed by The Voice (Reader) 11/25/2002
Erin,
Wow! This is very deep. Please do not ever give up the believing in rhyme. You have a great gift.

The Voice
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