by Kaeti Yates
Friday, January 10, 2003
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I feel like losing myself today.
Walking out alone on my road,
Bending myself towards the ground and sleeping.
The sun reminds me of my childhood,
Gripping me in it's heat,
I feel loss and tears streaking down my face at once.
Why so soon?
Innocence lost, yet my body still awake,
I kill myself everyday for tasting the winds bitter blow,
And going black seems so good.
I can still make out figures when I lay in bed,
Watching the shapes shift on the tv,
Trying to escape across an ocean into another room,
Someone I don't know,
Just someone to hold on to.
Playful days lost,
I am the down in every day.
Cutting others up,
I'm the angel,
The Christ in her life,
But my own weight in the river.
Clearly I'm not what I want.
Because I'm not transparent yet.