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Dear Jon Bon Jovi-
You don't know me but I have to ask- Are you lonely?
Cuz I know a woman that wants to make you feel cozy
She's squishy and cumfy like a big teddy bear
and my god she wants to rip off your underwear
I think she also wants to braid your pubic hair
Is that very scary? Are you very hairy?
Do you need Ms. Squish to make your Christmas merry?
She wants to strap you to a bed and give you head
She wants to ride you till the bed turns red
from her bloody cunt to put it blunt
Do you wanna know what she's got in front?
Two big boobs that can hold shitloads of ice cubes
She wants to handcuff you and have her way with you
She'd get all wet and she's be happy to play with you
I'm sure you'd like to play with her big old tits
Just whatever you do, don't go near those armpits
So Jonny boy, will you be her toy?
Come on, it's Christmas-fill her bed with joy!
This is not a ploy-it's the Christmas season
What else could be a better reason?
She's such a bitch that needs a lay
In her bed please will you stay?
Come on and make her yuletide gay!
Seasons Beatings!