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Sara Coslett

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Short Stories
· To "Mom's" Family -- With Love

· Road Warrior Cries the Blues

· Life's Comedy - Or How Not to Catch a Snake


Articles
· Ruff Work

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· I'm Not All Liberal

· How Many Terrorists Does it Take...

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· Tax Cuts - A Simple Lesson In Economics

· What Is An American?

· A Line in the Sand


Poetry
· Unfunny God

· Standing By

· To love . . .

· Give Me Strength

· No Place Like Love

· Climbing Silence Hill

· The Wolfy Pack

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· Advance -fee Fraud aka Nigerian Letter Scam

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  H2 Ho Ho Ho
by Sara Coslett
Friday, February 28, 2003


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Recent poems by Sara Coslett
•  Unfunny God
•  Terminating Failure
•  desire you
•  Standing By
•  To love . . .
           >> View all 671


I want a hummer
I need a hummer
Give me a hummer
Where is my hummer
What do I have to do to get a hummer
Hummer hummer hummer
All day, everyday
Thatís all my hubby says
Hummer hummer hummer
Iím thinking to myself
What the hell is the big deal
Like he doesnít already get them
Hmmm
Fine
I canít take it anymore
Get down on the floor
Unzip
Go to work
Eyes glaze over
Excitement builds
Builds
Builds some more
Erupts
Iím still on the floor
He smiles and says
What prompted that
And I replied
You kept asking for a hummer
So I obliged
Laughing
Hysteria
Heís holding his sides
My face is turning red
Iím burning inside
He gets up
Helps me off my knees
We walk into the library
He sits in the chair
Computer is there
I sit on his lap
Licking and kissing
Face, neck, ears
Looking for some affection
You know
The return of a special favor
Mutual understanding
He types a keyword in the search engine
HUMMER
And then his eyes start to glaze
You know that pale shade of green
Vibrant
Sparkly
Shine of excited anticipation
But heís not looking at me
Nope, looking at the screen he points
Slowly I turn my head
In fear
Of some porno star
With a giant sausage in her mouth
And I see
The ugliest vehicle on earth
HUMMER H2
And I let out a roar
No way baby are you ever getting one of those things
Youíll just have to live with the one you just got
Cause itís the closest you will ever get to a HUMMER
From me



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Reviewed by T. Emilie Dybevik (Reader) 3/13/2003
Agree, very VERY fun to read. Teresa
Reviewed by OisŪn Breen 3/1/2003
Fun
Reviewed by jude forese 2/28/2003
very humorous and well written! he already has one hummer i bet ;)
Reviewed by Elizabeth Taylor (Reader) 2/28/2003
They are a big thing here. Take it any way you want. [smiles]
~E
Reviewed by Morchuis 2/28/2003
Hi Super,
They make a model one,its about fifty bucks, that will keep him quiet for a while.
Morchuis
Reviewed by Larry Skahill 2/28/2003
wow - you really are super
good thing he didn't want a beetle
Reviewed by J John (Reader) 2/28/2003
Fine punchy humorous write :) J & J
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 2/28/2003
whaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaha.....
i don't hum my bearings gave in.....
I have a piston knock........lol.....
A... V 8... try 8 times in one night but never succeeds.......ggggrrrr
I think I need a new Lover instead....don't you think...Am I a bitch now or what
Love Tinka
Reviewed by Bhuwan Thapaliya 2/28/2003
LOl...wonderful humorous write...BHUWAN
Reviewed by Joel Raja Kumar J 2/28/2003
wow, Super girl, sure sounds all fun but there behind all this is pain, pain of a loss, pain of a hope gone bad. Poor little girl.

Better luck next time, Kiddo,

Love from India - Joel -
Reviewed by Lady Peg (Reader) 2/28/2003
Oh this one is such a delight to read.
sigh refreshing humor
Peg
Reviewed by James David Compton (Reader) 2/28/2003
VROOOOOOOOOOM!

...what a gal.
(what kind of mileage do you get?)
-James
Reviewed by E T Waldron 2/28/2003
As a person who loves God more than self, I have always hoped to live to see the day we could put rhetoric aside and realize most of us want the same things. We just have different ideas on how to achieve it. I hope we can have a peaceful place here at the Den for we are all here for the main purpose of writing poetry, and yes expressing ourselves and being read. It would be nice if we stopped the political baloney and put it in another forum on boards or something, and lets get back to enjoying each others poems. this comment will go on everyones post, so please don't feel singled out;-) Thank you, God bless your day, and make it a good one!
Reviewed by Christine Morell 2/28/2003
Still laughing! I love it.
Chrissie
Reviewed by the phantom pheonix (Reader) 2/28/2003
LOL this was hilaroiius great jobLOL
Reviewed by La Belle Rouge (Reader) 2/28/2003
Oh this is toooo funny.
Reviewed by Ted Sheridan (Reader) 2/28/2003
Your Hummer's don't cost you $130,000 plus either, get him a Jeep, and keep the change.
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