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~title doesn't really fit, but oh well...~

I thought the nightmares has stopped,
But I could not have been more wrong.
It was a nightmare,
With no way out.
I tried so hard to wake up,
But it was no use I could not.
I was so scared.
I wanted to scream,
But they came out as whispers.

There you were over me,
You were ready to pounce.
Dad, you had that look in your eyes,
The one you always had.
The look of superiority...
The look that always scared me.
You looked as though
You were gonna kill me.
I know you could see the fear in my eyes,
Because I seen the smile
That went across your face
When you looked in my eyes.

You were not the only one there,
Mom was there too.
She was off in the corner
With the smug look on her face.
The look that says she does not give a shit.
She did not move,
She just sat there
And watched,
Just like she always did.
She knew what you planned
On doing to me,
But she did not care.

Remembering this scares me,
Just as much as living it,
But I still wish I could remember more.
I wish I knew
What triggered this nightmare.
It had been so long,
Why did they have to return?
Never again will I believe they’re gone.
Never again shall I close my eyes
At least not until from this world I depart.

03.16.2003

Part 2

I lay here in this deep sleep
I start to shake
And try to scream,
But it only comes out
As a small whisper.

You do not want to wake me up
You are too scared.
After I will go into a coma
Or something.

I cannot seem to wake up
No matter how hard I try.
I wish for you to wake me up,
But yet I don’t.

I finally wake up,
I want to cry,
But I cannot,
Not in front of you.
You try to take my hand,
But I do not want you there,
So I push you away.
I roll over,
And go into a comatose state
As I stare into the darkness.

I fight sleep once more,
No more can I sleep
Knowing I could experience that again.
All I have ever wanted
Was to be able to sleep,
Without these things haunting me
In the night.

03.17.2003