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Erica Ivory

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Member Since: Dec, 2002

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I'm Sorry Unconditional Love
by Erica Ivory

Wednesday, April 09, 2003

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Unconditional Love and double standards.. Guilty as charged!!
You can not give this love to get it back.. You must give it because it is the right thing to do. Because it is who you are..
Rest in peace my father.. you are loved and remembered!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


I'm sorry
that I cursed you ..
the very day you died..
I am so sorry..
I didn't give you what you
must have craved inside..
I am sorry I dirtied
your memory
With all things sad..
Letting anger and hurt
make me into a person
I never wanted to be..
Taking down your pictures..
Erasing you from my mind..
I am ashamed of what I did..
I pray you look down at me..
I pray you can forgive.
Me..
This girl who wanted love
Your love unconditionally..
So I cursed the day
you died..
for not giving it to me..
Ahhhh..
Now who am I?
I am the one with
conditions..
Feeling hate..
feeling hurt
Feeling deserted..
Pretending
I didn't love you..
Forgetting memories
good and bad..
Denouncing you
as my father..
For leaving me
in pain...
Must remember
even if I did not get
this love I craved
from you..
Who am I to judge?
As I sit here with this
deep dark grudge..
Letting it break my heart..
Not giving you..
Unconditional love..
Taking down your pictures..
Packing them away..
Saying you didn't matter..
because you never
loved me anyway..
But it doesn't matter
if you loved me or not..
This is not the way
I want to live..
So now I see..
the error of my way..
It does not matter
what love you gave ..
What matters is
what my heart
has to say..
Unconditional love
to you my father..
For all you were
For all you were not..
For the pain you caused..
For time that was lost..
For hugs you MADE me give
when you came to my home..
For all memoires
bittersweet and sad..
All of these matter...
Because you are my Dad.
My unconditional love
you will always have...
Know that I am sorry..
Ashamed of what I did
Ashamed of every
selfish thought..
I hope you hear this
message Daddy..
Even in anger my love
never stopped.
I will love you until
the last light
leaves my soul
I have loved you from
the very start
I will love you
with the last
beat of my heart.

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Reviewed by ken Oliver 4/12/2003
To K.D.O. may you rest assured that your daughter will always love you and she will never forget.
Reviewed by Patricia Gomes 4/9/2003
Be strong, Erica, Your love for him shines through.
Reviewed by Floria Kelderhouse (Reader) 4/9/2003
I really felt this Erica...kind of been there..done that...but we are only human you know....this is excellent and touched my heart..floria
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 4/9/2003
Very well written!!
Reviewed by Sage Largo (Reader) 4/9/2003
The loss of a loved one brings feelings long hidden to the surface. Forgive yourself as you have forgiven your Father. Excellent writing Erica. All the best Sage
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 4/9/2003
*tears* i pray you find the forgiveness you seek...very powerful, intense, emotional poem...it really affected me, because my daddy has heart surgery tomorrow, a single bypass...lost my mom after heart surgery...keep don vidra (daddy) and karen and i and the rest of our family in your prayers...we need 'em...(((HUGS))) and love, karla. :(
Reviewed by Tony Nerone 4/9/2003
Dear Erica, Your Grace shows in this excellent write. I am very proud to call you my friend.


Yf
tony:)
Reviewed by Elizabeth Taylor (Reader) 4/9/2003
The opposite of agape is unconditional anger. Very well written.
Reviewed by T. Emilie Dybevik (Reader) 4/9/2003
This is very sad...wonderful display of emotion! Teresa
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