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Retta (Reindeer) Mckenzie

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Living In My Dark World
by Retta (Reindeer) Mckenzie

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So down today,
My world rather dark
Darker than it’s ever been,
And I wonder,
If I shall ever see the light again…

Discovered some truths yesterday,
And you know how hard that can be,
To face what others finally find the courage to say,
Faced a few of my own too,
And now I know what I must do…

I was safe once,
Happy enough,
If happiness means not being tough
Enough to play the game,
Hiding behind my name,
Using my past to feed the future,
But the line became a blur…

I crossed a line I couldn’t see,
Pretending something that would never be,
That I,
Dark creature of the night,
Could try to live in your world of light…

But now I got it right,
For someone said to me,
I must learn to be like you,
Enjoy the dark and be at peace…

One never learns to enjoy the dark,
One endures, survives, hides,
Never enjoys the ebony tides,
That washes across one’s soul…

But now and again,
Soft beings of light,
Traverse near enough
To make one smile,
Then they flutter away once again,
Leaving us shadows alone in the night…

You may call to me,
And pretend to see,
This thing you call a great mystery,
But now the truth lies between us
Like a bridge we can never cross,
Covering a chasm that makes me sway dizzily,
As I stand on the rim,
Of this truth you revealed to me…

Don’t be sad,
It wasn’t all bad,
And the truth is I don’t accept your pity,
Your remorse,
It was my choice to believe,
Your "truths" that made me leave…

I have returned to the beginning again,
And you to your soft lighted world my friend,
Leaving me to dwell,
In my own private hell,
And they are my demons to fight,
Never yours in your world of light,
We fight different battles,
And though my sword is rusted and torn,
It swings still,
When I find the will…

So sit back in your ivory tower,
And watch and dream of power,
Leave us natives to our earthly whims,
I shall never climb that mountain again…

I know now where I belong,
Here with the weak,
Not the strong…
For we have a bond,
These children and I,
Where I wipe the tears from their eyes,
Set them on the path again…

Perhaps I shall never have a true friend,
But if I leave my dark place where I dwell,
How shall I help others escape from their hell?
So much nicer here I see,
Where people like you will never find me…

So it is my choice to stay,
Your tears of sorrow you can wipe away,
It’s not like our friendship was real anyway…
So to you who cry and feel grief for me,
I want you see there is no need to be…

For I have found my peace,
Here in the shadows of my trees,
Where there is no one here but me,
For at last it is understood,
Life is,
What it is…

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Reviewed by Rodney Bohen 4/19/2003
Indeed, it is! What it is!.....but, ....always subject to change on the morrow, based on the hope stored today!

But now and again,
Soft beings of light,
Traverse near enough
To make one smile,
Then they flutter away once again,
Leaving us shadows alone in the night…
Reviewed by Jimmy Mills 4/12/2003
Nice work here Rein. Living in the shadows is what alot of people these days do. How are they really? We will never know until they get out of their shadows. Nice work Rein. You are the best poet I know. Jim
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 4/11/2003
Retta this is a very sad write...I can feel it and can relate to your feelings love...lift your head and be proud of yourself......You did an amazing job with this one....
Reviewed by Marilyn Seray 4/11/2003
Glad you're on the mend. wonderful and intense
Reviewed by ya mama (Reader) 4/11/2003
Reviewed by Marco Landi 4/11/2003
great emotional ride....well done
Reviewed by Gwen Dickerson 4/11/2003
This poem brought forth a wide range of emotions from me, in addition to many questions which I won't go into. However,it revealed your creativity and ability to touch others with your poetic voice! Great job!
Reviewed by Retta (Reindeer) Mckenzie 4/11/2003
Yes, This is a poem of triumph,for I am enlightened in my dark world, And Bobby, I would be highly honored for you to write a companion Poem, I am glad so many understand,

Thank you for your comments,

Reviewed by the phantom pheonix (Reader) 4/11/2003
Dear snowball throwing friend I think you will find a lot of us live in taht dark world and have our own private hells to battle. I like mine for it inspires some of my darkest and most emotional poems never try to change for others that is my mistake for taht is what I tried to do and it never workds just remain true to self
Reviewed by Trish - The Trickster 4/11/2003
Powerful, insightful write. Excellent.
Reviewed by Linda Hill 4/11/2003
I can identify, my friend
I live there too.:(
Reviewed by Paul Berube 4/11/2003
Retta, wonderful poem. To dwell in darness doesn't provide the comfort of truth.
Reviewed by Bhuwan Thapaliya 4/11/2003
Reviewed by Erin Kelly-Moen 4/10/2003
Ah, I see, what to many may be a dirge, is a song of triumph to thee, and the we you help, Retta, still...may I not hope for more, for you? I do. But I accept your insight, dear Reindeer. Salute. Unique write, Retta, a learning experience, for sure. :)
Reviewed by Bobbi Duffy 4/10/2003
I have tried living in the light, but the glare damn near blinded me! Retta, this is a beautiful piece and it touched me deeply. I may just try to write a companion piece, if it's okay with you!
Reviewed by Elizabeth Taylor (Reader) 4/10/2003
Beautifully done, Retta. Full circle.
Reviewed by Tony Nerone 4/10/2003
Hi Retta, Strong powerful write. But sad for me.

Reviewed by Zenith Elliott 4/10/2003
Mighty is your pen dear Retta...alas, I understand...Living in my dark world Z

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