Will It Ever End?
by Retta (Reindeer) Mckenzie
Thursday, May 01, 2003
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Will It Ever End?
My heart so heavy in my chest,
Sitting like a stone under my breasts,
I thought I was getting well,
Finding a way out of this hell,
But it wasn't real,
Still I feel,
This pain that threatens
To drive me insane...
I hide behind a name,
That few can even say,
Hide from the brightness of the day,
In shadows that lurk and play,
Casting strange shapes in my mind,
And I know you think you are being kind,
But this darkness is mine...
I never wanted you here!
Never asked you to ease my fear-
Just wanted to gaze upon the face of the moon,
You came too soon!
I was not ready for you,
Couldn't do what you asked me too...
Now the paths to my heart are barred,
And you my shinning star,
Have returned to your place in the sun,
Our friend ship over and done...
I keep looking down the path,
Seeking you yet fearing your wrath,
That fine tuned mind so damn wise,
The soul to which my heart cries-
Wanting you to return,
Yet fearing the burn,
Which comes with every word you say,
Blazing in my mind every day,
Wanting you to leave,
Maybe it's better this way,
Didn't some one once say,
Better to have loved and lost,
Then never have felt what it cost
To have someone peek into your soul,
Listen to the secrets no one was suppose to know...
I have stood much too long,
Staring down both roads that lie before me,
Trying to peer around the bend and see
Where each road will lead,
Which path would fill my need...
Trying to decide which way to go,
But my mind is working much to slow,
And my body is weak from lack of sleep,
The sun is going down and the shadows began to creep
Long black fingers beckon to me,
Pointing out things I do not want to see...
I see on one path a waiting friend,
Wondering now will it ever end,
This voice of doom in my head,
whispering softly you're better off dead,
Then reaching for that hand I see...
I remember the stain I put on someone's soul,
God that is a feeling I hope you never know,
Something I must never do again,
And that is why I back away my friend,
Choosing now the darker road to walk,
Where Shadows lurk and stalk,
But no one to hurt but me,
I only hope that you can see,
I need for this to end,
I am weary of hurting you my friend,
And so step forward into the night,
where the moon is such a beautiful sight,
The stars shinning with such soft light,
Lighting the path I choose tonight...
So this is where it ends,
and I see now what was behind the bend,
Smile sadly into the night,
Seeking to finally end this fight-
I reach the place where my world begins,
The only thing I miss is you my beautiful friend...
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|Reviewed by richard poor
|the best way to get to a place you never been is to not know where you are going...
i like this very much,has that "feel"...
|Reviewed by Trixie Love
How sad this one is..
Things always have
a way of working out.
|Reviewed by the phantom pheonix
|this was such a sad and bitter peom to read I hope you are okay|
|Reviewed by Tony Nerone
|Dear Retta, Your writings are amazing just like you.
|Reviewed by Elizabeth Taylor (Reader)
|You do such good work !|
|Reviewed by Dove (Reader)
|AAAhhh..This is heartbreaking..Hope you see your friend soon...|
|Reviewed by E T Waldron
|you hit all the emotions from a to z wonderful write as always !|
|Reviewed by Kerry Compton Star Girl
|Haunting...favorite line was "To have someone peek into your soul". Powerful!|
|Reviewed by William Bonilla
|Excellent write Retta
|Reviewed by A PAX
|What a swing of emotions and reactions!! Lots to absorb here!!
my favorite was the last stanza......
love your style!
|Reviewed by Marilyn Seray
|An unselfish love for a friend. You know when to back away because of that special bond.
Don't feel that you must repent by walking on that dark road. you will only find more darkness and hurt yourself in the long run
|Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
|Retta I am really taken by this.....This is calling out to me...it feels like you wrote this one just for me.....maybe this is a sign...or the light that will show me the way through my darkest moment of my life..
Herby I say thank you for this eye opener...it has an impact on me..
|Reviewed by na na (Reader)
|Retta, the last line of the poem brings it all together. "The only thing I miss is you my beautiful friend..." Indeed the friendship is worth more than anything in the world to you and rightfully so. You have my empathy and understanding. I will stand by you while this goes on, hoping you find fulfillment some day. Hugs bill
|Reviewed by Connie Hinnen Cook
|To choose a path that is harder for you in order to not hurt a friend...this one is deep. But I hope you win out over the Voice of Doom...for that's a path not worth taking!|
|Reviewed by Lisa Hilbers
|Retta,,This is an exquisite piece of work. I enjoyed every line of it. I guess maybe because I relate to it so well,,,but for whatever reason,,it's wonderful,,Lisa|
|Reviewed by Jack Roberts
|Very nice Retta. Well done.
|Reviewed by Jacqueline VanZandbeek
|Excellent piece shows great emotion. How to choose the road to take tugs at the heart. If only we could see around that bend!
|Reviewed by Debby Rosenberg
|held my attention all the way...very heartfelt|
|Reviewed by Digital Fairy
|So touchingly emotional, this is excellent writing :)
|Reviewed by Paul Berube
|Retta, excellent verses. You wear your heart on your sleeve.|
|Reviewed by Ted Sheridan (Reader)
|Well done piece of work.|
|Reviewed by Christine Morell
|I agree...brilliant. I was captivated from start to finish.
|Reviewed by Melissa Rives
|Such a sad and yet brilliant piece..expressed so well...it reaches out and grips the heart!|