by Erin Elizabeth Kelly-Moen
Sunday, June 29, 2003
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I've been working on this piece for a contest. It had to have the phrase "quenching thirst in a dry county". My first thought was not alcohol related, it was living in the dryness of Arizona, so I slanted the piece in that direction, but included allusions to other spirits in the piece. :)
She had moved to a remote part of the country,
following her husbands career,
and her rebellious desire to vacate her birth state.
Wisconsin, home of cows, farmers, and beer,
gorgeous in its greenery, savage in its winters,
land of milk and cheese, fishing holes
and wild strawberries.
She pauses, in her musings, thirsting.
The shifting sands echo the blistering heat.
Mountains rear their Time-laden brows,
searching for companion clouds
to shadow the sun. Beyond the sticky haze,
a billowing amalgamates. Moisture
has set up its still, in Arizona.
Memories of flowing water, tadpole marveling,
grumbling disregard for rainy days, permeates
the very air she breathes, marking the extent
of her attrition. At times, she is Nuance.
Lips dry, shifting emotional equilibrium,
throat aching for intoxicating libation.
Swifting winds broach their orgasmic warning,
palm fronds click and rattle, sun winks, and exits.
Gusts create dust devils of gritty vortexes.
Looming above, salvation begins its dance.
Spattering smell of dusty fluidity
foreshadows dizzying drunkenness.
Nature’s drink comes in a torrential downpour,
quenching thirst in a dry county.
Copyright 2003 ©
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|Reviewed by Retta (Reindeer) Mckenzie
|This was beautiful, excellent imagery, I loved this poem so much,
|Reviewed by Katy Walsvik
|Erin.. if you don't win I'd say it's an excelent conclusion to say the judges are 'brain dead'.. "companion clouds" <--- stopped me right in my tracks.. wonderful line.. Your efforts to incorporate the contest line is seamless.. you write without flaws.. from your fellow Wisconsinite, katy.|
|Reviewed by Christine Morell
|Very good luck in the contest. This is a superb piece, its imagery outstanding.Wonderful work.
|Reviewed by Leland Waldrip
|Excellent imagery and word smithing. If contests are good for nothing else, they do inspire.
|Reviewed by Maria Lupinacci
Best of luck in the contest, you should kick butt with this piece! I am cheering you on!
Your imagery is always a visual master piece!
|Reviewed by La Belle Rouge (Reader)
|Lovely work, you should win!|
|Reviewed by Dale Clark
|Your poetry is always excellent and awesome!|
|Reviewed by Bhuwan Thapaliya
|This is excellent write as always from you....BHUWAN|
|Reviewed by Alexandra* OneLight*® Authors & Creations
|"At times, she is Nuance"... **smiling**... I love this, and I love the whole poem.|
|Reviewed by Dove (Reader)
|Wonderful, deep write, Erin..Thanks for sharing..
Peace and love,
|Reviewed by Michelle Kidwell Power In The Pen
|This was a beautiful piece, keep up the great work!
|Reviewed by jude forese
|extremely well crafted!|
|Reviewed by Jack Roberts
|Looks like a Blue Ribbon winner to me Erin!!!
|Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
|Fantastic Erin....great job on this one...let me go Quench My Thirst with a nica cuppa coffee!!
|Reviewed by E T Waldron
|Erin I agree with Dani! A superb write! Love the way you left it til last line gave it greater emphasis.|
|Reviewed by *********** ********** (Reader)
|I feel like I've lived a lifetime....in these words...Fantastic Erin...You're going to win...ah huh! Thanks, Dani|
|Reviewed by Elizabeth Taylor (Reader)
|I like the words and thoughts. Does it have to be in 8 line stanzas? I see it more in the free form style [like Josie Wooton uses] Just a suggestion to try. The imagery is fantastic.|