Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner
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hot july fourth night
by
Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner
Tuesday, July 01, 2003
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Recent poems by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner
• They Don't Make 'Em Like My Daddy Anymore, © 2013, Karla Dorman
• C'mon, Get Happy, © 2013, Karla Dorman
• Flag Day, © 2013, Karla Dorman
• Really, God? © 2013, Karla Dorman
• Welcome To Hell's Kitchen, © 2013, Karla Dorman
• Pioneers of the Plains, © 2013, Karla Dorman
• I Hate Good-Byes, © 2013, Karla Dorman
• Mo(u)rning © 2013, Karla Dorman
• Ground Zero, copyright Karla Dorman
• Daddy, © 2013, Karla Dorman
• Memorial Day: For The Fallen, © 2013, Karla Dorman
• Memorial Day: Brought To You B(u)y ... © 2013, Karla Dorman
• Memorial Day: How Do You Thank Someone For Dying? © 2013, Karla Dorman
• O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A, © 2013, Karla Dorman
>> View all 3,249 |
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lying
on a
blanket
in an
empty field
on a
july fourth night
you
and i
gaze into
each other's
eyes
waiting for
the fireworks
you lean down
gently place
your lips
on mine
inside me
a fuse
ignites
my breathing
and heartbeat
quickens
in anticipation
you place
your hand
under my shirt
onto my breasts
o yes
burning hot
you gently remove
my clothes
you wrap us
up in
the blanket
and take me
into your arms
and together
we make sweet
passionate
love
the fireworks
and i
explode
at the same time
*what a finale*
------------------------------------------------------------
my first attempt at erotica
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| Reviewed by Lee Garrett |
7/5/2003 |
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| A very good first effort. The imagery is strong, the vision tight, and focused. I enjoyed it. There's a "Teach Yourself" book on writing Erotica that might interest you. It's by Mike Bailey, released through NTC Publishing Group. I've found it very helpful myself. You might like to check it out. |
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| Reviewed by Maria Lupinacci |
7/2/2003 |
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Karla,
The form and content are excellent in this!
This is being marked as one of my favorites by you, so soft and sensual, yet filled with the fun of romance and love also!
Hugs,
Maria |
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| Reviewed by Abdi-Noor Mohamed (Eagle Of Hope) |
7/2/2003 |
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Inside everybody
this poem ignites a fuse.
wonderful write, karla
abdinoor |
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| Reviewed by M Wood |
7/2/2003 |
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| :) Karla, make it so - I will be thinking of this piece as the fireworks burst overhead on the 4th |
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| Reviewed by Trish - The Trickster |
7/2/2003 |
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| Wonderful toasty write. :) |
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| Reviewed by Retta (Reindeer) Mckenzie |
7/2/2003 |
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This was wonderful, That was some 4th of July! I loved it!
Reindeer |
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| Reviewed by Handsum Hart |
7/1/2003 |
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| nice work |
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| Reviewed by Bianca Boonstra |
7/1/2003 |
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| Hot write about a hot night :-) I hope it doesn't rain on the 4th |
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| Reviewed by Tinka Boukes |
7/1/2003 |
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hey I like this...was your feet cold??
take care....:)))
Love
Tinka |
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| Reviewed by tiffany |
7/1/2003 |
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| it's not bad for a first attempt. |
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| Reviewed by La Belle Rouge (Reader) |
7/1/2003 |
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| Karla this is wonderful, softly sensual but hot. |
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| Reviewed by Donna Maris |
7/1/2003 |
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Whewwwhooo..Finally- we have ignition and LIFT OFF!! =) EXCELLENT!..Im glad you were inspired to write from reading my work..=)
now you know why Belle calls me SpiceGirl =)
sure you don't have red hot jeans, too? Donna |
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| Reviewed by - - - - - TRASK |
7/1/2003 |
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7-01-03
Most Interestingly so Hot!
TRASK |
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| Reviewed by E T Waldron |
7/1/2003 |
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| WOW WOW!Karla, how beautiful! you surprised me with the fancy fireworks;-)A really sweet touching poem with exciting finale! |
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| Reviewed by No Longer Member (Reader) |
7/1/2003 |
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| Here's to the "up coming" holiday.......this poem rocks too. |
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| Reviewed by Jenni Kalicharan |
7/1/2003 |
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Wow!! Great write.. You should write more..
Happy 4th of July!! *wink*
Jenni |
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| Reviewed by Robert Blackwell (Reader) |
7/1/2003 |
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| Mmmmmmmboy! Loved this bit of erotica. |
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| Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado |
7/1/2003 |
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| wow! not bad for a first attempt; this is great! could see the fireworks goin' off in my mind as i read this passion-filled write! gret job! (((HUGS))) and love, your twin, karen lynn. :) |
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