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Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner

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Member Since: Dec, 2001

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hot july fourth night
by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner

Tuesday, July 01, 2003

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Recent poems by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner
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           >> View all 3,280

on a
in an
empty field
on a
july fourth night
and i
gaze into
each other's
waiting for
the fireworks
you lean down
gently place
your lips
on mine
inside me
a fuse
my breathing
and heartbeat
in anticipation
you place
your hand
under my shirt
onto my breasts
o yes
burning hot
you gently remove
my clothes
you wrap us
up in
the blanket
and take me
into your arms
and together
we make sweet
the fireworks
and i
at the same time
*what a finale*
my first attempt at erotica

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Reviewed by Lee Garrett 7/5/2003
A very good first effort. The imagery is strong, the vision tight, and focused. I enjoyed it. There's a "Teach Yourself" book on writing Erotica that might interest you. It's by Mike Bailey, released through NTC Publishing Group. I've found it very helpful myself. You might like to check it out.
Reviewed by Maria Lupinacci 7/2/2003
The form and content are excellent in this!
This is being marked as one of my favorites by you, so soft and sensual, yet filled with the fun of romance and love also!

Reviewed by Abdi-Noor Mohamed (Eagle Of Hope) 7/2/2003
Inside everybody
this poem ignites a fuse.
wonderful write, karla
Reviewed by m w 7/2/2003
:) Karla, make it so - I will be thinking of this piece as the fireworks burst overhead on the 4th
Reviewed by Trish - The Trickster 7/2/2003
Wonderful toasty write. :)
Reviewed by Retta (Reindeer) Mckenzie 7/2/2003
This was wonderful, That was some 4th of July! I loved it!

Reviewed by Handsum Hart 7/1/2003
nice work
Reviewed by Bianca Boonstra 7/1/2003
Hot write about a hot night :-) I hope it doesn't rain on the 4th
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 7/1/2003
hey I like this...was your feet cold??
take care....:)))

Reviewed by tiffany 7/1/2003
it's not bad for a first attempt.
Reviewed by La Belle Rouge (Reader) 7/1/2003
Karla this is wonderful, softly sensual but hot.
Reviewed by Donna Maris 7/1/2003
Whewwwhooo..Finally- we have ignition and LIFT OFF!! =) EXCELLENT!..Im glad you were inspired to write from reading my work..=)
now you know why Belle calls me SpiceGirl =)
sure you don't have red hot jeans, too? Donna
Reviewed by - - - - - TRASK 7/1/2003

Most Interestingly so Hot!

Reviewed by E T Waldron 7/1/2003
WOW WOW!Karla, how beautiful! you surprised me with the fancy fireworks;-)A really sweet touching poem with exciting finale!
Reviewed by No Longer Member (Reader) 7/1/2003
Here's to the "up coming" holiday.......this poem rocks too.
Reviewed by Jenni Kalicharan 7/1/2003
Wow!! Great write.. You should write more..
Happy 4th of July!! *wink*
Reviewed by Robert Blackwell (Reader) 7/1/2003
Mmmmmmmboy! Loved this bit of erotica.
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 7/1/2003
wow! not bad for a first attempt; this is great! could see the fireworks goin' off in my mind as i read this passion-filled write! gret job! (((HUGS))) and love, your twin, karen lynn. :)
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