Voyage of the Damned Jello
When it comes to "dishes to pass,"
the once, twice or thrice divorced,
and otherwise unencumbered,
are often told or scolded ....
"Why not just bring some jello."
It's as if they think we can't hold
even the simplest things together,
but they trust us with hot water,
and packages with instructions.
Even we can't mess that up, right!?!?!,
the thick of summer having arrived,
and you know what that means ...
pending holiday weekend picnics,
everyone offering up tricks or treats.
Loser votes are cast for the jello prize.
I wonder will I win again this year?
Anticipating, I await the count,
that seals the deal on what dessert
I'm entrusted to provide for holiday.
The chips fall, and the Jell-O goes to ...
May I have the envelope please ...
and these words in careful script,
"Anne: Bring some jello, dear,
and this year, put some fruit in it."
...this is an old piece, slightly revised. the original idea came about after years and years of watching my younger brother (a single parent) get off easy at many a family gathering because everyone assumed he did not or could not cook. he was the one who was told to "just bring soda, or if you have time you could buy some chips."
i knew better of his ability, as whenever i had him over at my house he brought spectacular potato salads, deviled eggs, black forest cakes and once, on a whim, a rhubarb pie for no apparent reason, except that he had "rhubarb up the a*!" all over his back lawn. lay/non holiday days, he cooked and baked nearly from scratch over the years for himself and his two children.
years later, divorced and single-parent status, i realized that my family had downgraded me to the "least likely to be able to succeed holding her life together, and thereby unworthy of being allowed to bring a complicated dish to pass at future family events."
over the last many years, it has made me chuckle inside as to the number of us who get away with murder at family picnics because of our supposed f'd up status but we are at least given the benefit of the doubt, and they do allow us to boil water, long enough to make jell-o.
enjoy the summer holiday weekends everyone, and as you see your friends and loved ones hauling in the "store-boughts" or the chips and jell-o, bust them and tell the whole wide world, "hey! they can still cook!"