Dark Beauty
by Retta (Reindeer) Mckenzie
Monday, July 07, 2003
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I stand on the edge of my world,
Staring down into that dark abyss,
Your words echoing in my ears,
Words I have come to fear;
“Don’t call me pretty!”
Is all I can say,
As I run from you today…
You don’t know how those words
Make me feel,
How hopeless!
How unreal!
It’s not me you see,
And I’m not pretty!
Here inside,
Where I hide-
In the sweet darkness,
I am safe,
From your lies…
Words you use to slay me,
Make me weak,
Baby, those shallow things you say,
Only make me weep…
The world is hollow,
This I know-
And if I fall tonight,
Will I pass straight through?
Will I pass you by,
On my way to oblivion?
Will you miss me dear?
Cry a tear?
Will you seek me out?
Will I hear your shout
My name on the way down?
Or will you smile,
When I hit the ground?
I feel such darkness descend,
Like a soft blanket over my eyes,
Feel such emptiness,
That I seek to hide…
And run here!
Where I am safe at last…
Feel that gentle push
At the center of my back,
Spread my arms wide,
And prepare to fly!
This is the dark beauty I crave,
So much more than the grave,
I seek that darkness so deep within,
Just want this pain to end!
Then I feel your arms,
Pulling me back into your life,
As you pour on the charm-
Your lips leaving bloody kisses
On my neck,
On my soul,
On me…
Funny though,
How you never miss me,
Until I’m about to leave-
Never believing,
I really want to go,
But baby,
You just don’t know-
I been here much too long,
And I am no longer strong,
Can’t bear your lies anymore,
Why be home,
If I am always alone?
With you I am weak,
Cannot speak-
Of that which buries,
My heart in stone…
My life a blank page,
You write your lies upon,
Your world a cage,
I seek to break free!
The sky dawns,
As you draw me back,
And I fall into the shadow,
Of your life once more…
Biding my time,
When this game will finally end…
You must believe me,
When I tell you I am not real-
Doesn’t even matter what you feel,
Baby,
Now you see,
Why I hate it,
When you call me pretty!
I don’t need you anymore!
I can’t stand here alone on the shore-
Think walk into the sea,
Let the waves wash over me,
Cut my wrists and bleed,
Jump into the that dark abyss,
Fall forever in the night,
And finally end this fight…
Then you can tell me,
If you still think I’m pretty!
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| Reviewed by Steve Joos |
7/8/2003 |
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| A sad piece, but well-written. |
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| Reviewed by serenety L |
7/8/2003 |
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This is excellent. Should it be real - then I envy you for the strength to make this step.
Love
S |
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| Reviewed by Handsum Hart |
7/8/2003 |
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| this is very good, makes you just want to cry |
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| Reviewed by William Bonilla |
7/7/2003 |
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A powerful and interesting write
Enjoyed reading so much
William |
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| Reviewed by Ron (sketchman) Axelson |
7/7/2003 |
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Some that are pretty can look awful ugly at times. Incredible write.......
Have missed ya.........Ron |
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| Reviewed by jude forese |
7/7/2003 |
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| powerful! |
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| Reviewed by - - - - - TRASK |
7/7/2003 |
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7-7-03
You Stand Forever For if You Fall You Won't Be To Pretty!!!
TRASK |
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| Reviewed by Trish - The Trickster |
7/7/2003 |
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| A sad, exceptional piece. Excellent! |
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| Reviewed by Kate Clifford |
7/7/2003 |
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| Very deep touching write. |
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| Reviewed by Christine Morell |
7/7/2003 |
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This is a brilliant yet harrowing piece Reindeer. The pain is screaming out of every line.
~Chrissie |
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| Reviewed by Trixie Love |
7/7/2003 |
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Ouch....This one just
snapped my heart strings...
I hope that this is
only fiction...
Hugs,
Trixie :) |
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| Reviewed by na na (Reader) |
7/7/2003 |
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| Retta, we follow our emotions and sometime they take us to strange, dark places. There we fight within our self what will happen to us next, almost like we are deciding our own destiny. This poem is dark and deep nd so well written. Your words seem to pour from your heart. Bill Murray |
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| Reviewed by Jill Eisnaugle |
7/7/2003 |
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This is so sad, Rein. A touching tribute to the depths of our innermost emotions.
Take care, k?
Jill :) |
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| Reviewed by Tinka Boukes |
7/7/2003 |
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| Heartfelt and haunting Retta!! |
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| Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado |
7/7/2003 |
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| excellent write, reindeer! :) (((HUGS))) |
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| Reviewed by E T Waldron |
7/7/2003 |
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| I feel like I'm reading my own mind! It's uncanny Reindeer, such powerful moving imagery, it grips the very soul. You have such a way with words! |
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| Reviewed by Lady Peg (Reader) |
7/7/2003 |
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Reindeer,
excellent as always
The world is hollow this I know"
Yes it is...
PJ |
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| Reviewed by ***** ********* (Reader) |
7/7/2003 |
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| Painful, passionate, powerful and oh-so-pretty! Reindeer, this is truly superb writing! |
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| Reviewed by Elizabeth Taylor (Reader) |
7/7/2003 |
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| Wow...this one is really loaded with angst. So sad. |
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| Reviewed by Gwen Dickerson |
7/7/2003 |
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| Whoa! Sad, powerful, painful, passionate! |
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| Reviewed by La Belle Rouge (Reader) |
7/7/2003 |
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| Retta, this is so sad and powerful, I look forward to someday reading of your joy that has surpassed your sorrow. |
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| Reviewed by Dale Clark |
7/7/2003 |
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| A sad piece which expresses the way people can hurt us and make us feel. Heartfelt and Haunting! |
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| Reviewed by Alexandra* OneLight*® Authors & Creations |
7/7/2003 |
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Poignan. Exquisitely expressed burning pain and anger of hearing what is not meant for us. Dark abyss of hearing... heartless words.
~~~Love, Light and Harmony~~~
Alexandra |
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| Reviewed by Sanil nath (Reader) |
7/7/2003 |
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| Excellent Write .... |
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| Reviewed by Robert Blackwell (Reader) |
7/7/2003 |
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| This was a very sad poem; very heartfelt, and very easy...and hard...to feel such depth of emotion. |
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| Reviewed by Jack Roberts |
7/7/2003 |
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This is Very Good Retta! But soooooooooo sad.
Jack |
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