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Donna Maris

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by Donna Maris

Thursday, July 17, 2003
Rated "G" by the Author.
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Recent poems by Donna Maris
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           >> View all 44

Not about Pirates...Ever have one of THOSE computer days?..(rewrite)


My computer has me in its throes,
Accessing the Internet
today begins my woes.
Dial up, Broadband, DSL,
they are all the same,
“Pay up or we’ll cancel you!”
is the name of their game.

Starting up, my monitor
a sly grinning kinda guy ,
allows me file access
and surfing by and by .

Silently he watches me,
with rising chagrin;
No folders, NO site access,

I am aggravated,a routine has begun.
Why can’t you let me in,
like you did, I implore,
Nothing is the same, I say,
as it appeared before!

Slowly moving,
his black bag of tricks reveals
Its MY way or the highway
Your operating system is ill, I feel .

I scratch my head in disbelief.
I cannot tolerate manipulation
from such a thief.
“ENOUGH of this Role Playing

I yell with a hoot:
"You must compromise,

I need YOU, I Hate YOU,
Was my final decree;
I’ll give you and the Printer,
till one-quarter past three!"

My Inkjet laughed haughtily,
an unsavory smile,
crossing his devilish face,
“You don’t get it do you?
We’re taking over THIS PLACE! “

"So you think this is WAR?",
realizing I was under attack.
" We’ll see who is the Boss of you
I am an ACE computer Hack!

If you both are not working
by one- quarter past three -
Rest assured, replacements I’ll find
you'will be History! "

"She’s bluffing, she’s joking "
said the Mad Monitor aloud ,
"I know its a smokescreen, "
responded the Inkjet,
beneath his blackest cloud.

I walked towards my 'Puter & Monitor
As Anger gave way to bitterness,
it raged within me;
"Have you made up your minds yet?
Its exactly one quarter past three."

They realized
I was joking no more,
It was the Executioner’s
Black Garb, they noticed I wore.

My monitor grimmaced,
as he eyed my Canon up close,
Yelling:" Dont hurt me,
It was all his idea!
His language is verbose! "

Sir Canon realized
Victory was now mine to win;
He dared me to fight him-
to the Death, he’d NOT give in!

As I disabled his wires,
Mad Monitor cowered like a mouse.
Proudly he pronounced,
"You know that Canon, IS such a louse!”

You Sir , Oh Canon,
Shall know who IS the Boss,
Without paper and printing,
you have created discourse! "

I cannot tolerate all your
technological malfunction,
perhaps you will recall that,
when I fed into the garbage junction."

Defiantly he eyed me proclaiming
“Oh yeah? I’m not afraid of you!
You cannot command Me.
I’m disconnected, We are through!! "

"Im glad to hear you say that,"
I said with a wink of my eye,
"You left me no choice,

Monitor chuckled, "Oh Canon,
Im afraid It IS goodbye! "
"Happy trails Sir Canon,"
I waved bye - bye.

Sir Canon lay outside
on the sidewalk in pieces, all broke.
My son hearing the calamity,
He thought it a joke!

He watched and listened
as Canon gurgled his last words,
"Okayyyy YOU WIN" -
was all to be heard !

Daily now,I surf the ‘Net ,
to my hearts content;
Soaring downloads,
My mouse moves quickly,
Without fear, no lament.

No virus, no trojans
Will ever be found ,
For my system is now stealth,
No pings, Not a sound !

True Story ! =)

Copyright Donna Maris
All Rights Reserved

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Reviewed by Jimmy Holder 1/10/2004
I really had a lot of fun with this poem! Thanks!
Reviewed by Evelyn Simon 12/17/2003
I liked this one. I had a monitor like that, but I got it some help
and now it's as good as new. I miss you Donna, come on back soon.

Much love, your friend, Evelyn.
Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader) 7/22/2003
Just fanerifik
Reviewed by Woman Words (Reader) 7/21/2003
LOL - cleverly done
Reviewed by Marie Wadsworth 7/21/2003
Lol. I think all of us have our days when we want to strangle our computers and printers. Your poems make me think about who is control -- computers or humans? I like the rhyme and use of fantasy trappings you have in your poem.
Reviewed by Retta (Reindeer) Mckenzie 7/20/2003
HA ha, this was great, had those days myself, you expressed that so well, laughed all the way through it!

Reviewed by Steve Reichard (Reader) 7/19/2003
I never get tired of seeing this Donna:) it's so funny:)
Reviewed by Merrill Vaughan (Reader) 7/18/2003
Oh Donna,
I chuckled all the way thru it. I too have had my computer problems with my lap top the last two days.
Thanks for being able to brighten up this day for me.
Reviewed by T. Emilie Dybevik (Reader) 7/18/2003

Some days... I would LOVE to throw mine out the window! Others...I could kiss it. Love the tangled emotions :)

Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 7/18/2003
funny and true!
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 7/18/2003

i HATE it when that happens

glad you got it fixed...and hope you had the best birthday EVER

(((HUGS))) and i adore your poem--and you


karla. :)
Reviewed by Ted Sheridan (Reader) 7/18/2003
This is funny and too true!
Reviewed by Handsum Hart 7/18/2003
lol, very funny
Reviewed by Elizabeth Taylor (Reader) 7/17/2003
hahahahahaha Love it......clever. I had several days like that last week.
Reviewed by Lady Peg (Reader) 7/17/2003
Oh Donna,
this is mutiny and at your best.. I enjoyed this one so creative and full of humor.... Excellent

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