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Candida L Eittreim

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The Burden
by Candida L Eittreim

Saturday, July 19, 2003

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 He had carried her for long years


 


 A sack...


 


 


 So heavy at times


 


 He could barely move


 


 At the end..


 


 So light..


 


 


 He barely felt her presence...


 


 Through the countless years,


 


 He  would often


 


 Place her on the floor


 


Where she sat silent


 


Soft and pliant


 


Waiting…


 


 


 


Often, when bored


 


He would rummage through her contents


 


Seeking treasures


 


Poking and prodding restlessly for hours


 


One hot day….


 


Wandering down strange farscapes


 


A small tear opened in her soft surface


 


Small particles of herself


 


 Dancing away in the hot sere air


 


 


 He never even noticed


 


 So absorbed was he


 


That  she had fallen to pieces


 


 Silently


 


 Drifting away…..


 


alone



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Reviewed by Don Baird 8/29/2003
Very nice....... I like the spacing.... the drifting..........

Don
Reviewed by Michael Emery (Reader) 8/29/2003
"He would rummage through her contents"...

EXQUISITE!...:-)

Mike the Binman. . . . .
Reviewed by William DeVault 8/28/2003
I enjoyed the spareness of this work, very much.
Reviewed by Rodney Bohen 8/20/2003
Candida,
Strong piece..........
Rodney Evan Bohen
Reviewed by Mark Mahoney 8/13/2003
Food for thought indeed, lovely write, a pleasure to read...Take care...Mark
Reviewed by Marco Landi 8/8/2003
excellent work that fuses life's torments...
Reviewed by Jackie (Micke) Jinks 7/27/2003
Oh, Candy! I'm so glad I found you here! I'm just getting back to posting again...and went looking ;o)
Such a poignant poem...in a good way!
Reviewed by Retta (Reindeer) Mckenzie 7/25/2003
Oh what lovely and heartfelt poetry this was,
Excellent,

Reindeer
Reviewed by Janet Caldwell 7/25/2003
This is the best thing that I've read today. JC xoxoxo
Reviewed by Sara Russell 7/24/2003
Very touching with an edge of irony... I like this.... Sara
Reviewed by Ian Thorpe 7/24/2003
Where have you been.
I can't find words for this except ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT!
Ian
Reviewed by Debra Stiles, The Original Mister 7/20/2003
Oh my this is wonderful
such a great way of putting it
I love it
Mister
Reviewed by jude forese 7/20/2003
outstanding! i really enjoyed all elements of this poem...
Reviewed by E. Richardson 7/20/2003
Good very very good. There are layers of emotion and meaning here.
Reviewed by La Belle Rouge (Reader) 7/20/2003
Outstanding, I've missed your work!
Reviewed by Kerry Compton Star Girl 7/20/2003
Wow, I am speechless...this is one strong write! ~Kerry
Reviewed by Elizabeth Taylor (Reader) 7/20/2003
Excellent, from beginning to end.
Reviewed by Joseph* OneLight*® 7/20/2003
This is a powerful write. So good to read you again.

~Joseph
Reviewed by Carolyn Red Bear (The Bear Paw) 7/20/2003
That's how most people bear their burdens...alone, huh? Good write, Candida!
In Spirit,
Bear
Reviewed by Handsum Hart 7/20/2003
poetic beauty
Reviewed by David Knight 7/20/2003
Very good imagery!
David
Reviewed by Bhuwan Thapaliya 7/20/2003
This is sad but very very realistic write....loved this....excellent!!!
Reviewed by Zenith Elliott 7/19/2003
Candy, such a painful sad write. No one should ever feel that they are a burden...
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