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Londis Carpenter

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Member Since: May, 2003

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The Spider (a parody)
by Londis Carpenter

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This is a parody of a song sung by Burl Ives about an old lady who swallowed a spider. sorry I don't know the author of the original lyrics, but here is my twisted version.

The Spider

There once was a fellow who captured a spider.
He caged it and fed it and let it get wider.
He wanted to see how much bigger the spider
Would get to be before it would die.

This fellow fed crickets each day to his spider.
He hoped it would eat them and grow to get wider.
He wanted to see how much bigger the spider
Would get to be before it would die.

Now one day the spider was the size of a bird.
Ever heard of a spider the size of a bird ?
But this fellow fed crickets every day to his spider.
He hoped it would eat them and get to be wider.
He wanted to see how much bigger the spider
Would get to be before it would die.

Then one day the spider was the size of a cat.
Just think about a spider, the size of a cat.
Before that the spider was the size of a bird.
Ever heard of a spider the size of a bird?
But this fellow fed crickets every day to his spider.
He hoped it would eat them and get to be wider.
He wanted to see how much bigger the spider
Would get to be before it would die.

And one day the spider was the size of a dog.
I never saw a spider the size of a dog.
But one day the spider was the size of a cat.
Just think about a spider the size of a cat.
Before that the spider was the size of a bird.
Ever heard of a spider the size of a bird?
But this fellow fed crickets every day to his spider.
He hoped it would eat them and get to be wider.
He wanted to see how much bigger the spider
Would get to be before it would die.

Now one day the spider was the size of a cow.
I donít know how it got to be big as a cow.
But one day the spider was the size of a dog.
I never saw a spider the size of a dog.
But one day the spider was the size of a cat.
Just think about a spider the size of a cat.
Before that the spider was the size of a bird.
Ever heard of a spider the size of a bird?
But this fellow fed crickets every day to his spider.
He hoped it would eat them and get to be wider.
He wanted to see how much bigger the spider
Would get to be before it would die.

Then one day the spider was as large as a horse.
It died of course.



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Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
Okay you mof my busIII,,,go go go..I dont want to see you near my bus...that spider is not allowed on my bus....Get OFFFFF!!!

Sorry my pal but this one freaked me completelyYYy Oh God I gonna run my legs offfffff!!

Smack
Tinka
Reviewed by Lady Peg (Reader)
LOL I loved it.
PJ
Reviewed by Zenith Elliott
LOL, great write...glad I never saw that spider or I would of died ahh.
Reviewed by Gwen Dickerson
Whoa! Some spider! Some poem! Enjoyed!
Reviewed by Katy Walsvik
Yikes! You are truly warped! <--- one of my very favorite sorts of people.. hehe.. What an absolutely fabulous bunch of hilarity, Lonny.. As the spider grows, so does the size of the next verse.. clever, 'progressive' (grin) and certifiably amazing! If only Ogden Nash could read this.. he'd love it! Yay, Lonny! katy.
Reviewed by Erica Ivory
LOL... this was great!!! Thanks for the uplift!

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