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Erin E Kelly-Moen

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Member Since: Oct, 2002

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In-Between
by Erin E Kelly-Moen

Monday, August 25, 2003
Not rated by the Author.
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Recent poems by Erin E Kelly-Moen
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           >> View all 1,663

She met a madman disguised as god,
she gave her life to set him up,
in her soul with hallways of gold
and erudite sheen,
and left herself no in-between.

She met a madman disguised as love,
she gave her life to set him up,
in her heart with bedroom’s leis
and perfumed means,
and left herself no in-between.

She met a madman disguised as peace,
she gave her life to set him up,
in her whole with chambers of song
and soothingly clean,
and left herself no in-between.

She met a madman disguised as sake,
she gave her life to set him up,
in her self with doorways of love
and heavens unseen,
and invited others to see in-between.

Erin Elizabeth Kelly-Moen
© Copyright 8/24/03

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Reviewed by Karen Vanderlaan 5/5/2007
excellent work here-i am glad i stopped by
Reviewed by Phyllis Jean Green 8/27/2003
Excellent! Would say more, but you have said so much, so well. . .:)
Reviewed by *********** ********** (Reader) 8/26/2003
I agree totally with Bhuwan...You need more exposure....this is damn fine work....ty, Dani
Reviewed by Dale Clark 8/26/2003
Your muse is strong! Excellent write!
Reviewed by Kate Clifford 8/26/2003
Great write!
Reviewed by Bhuwan Thapaliya 8/26/2003
Erin...This should be printed and circulated....gem of a write my friend.....BHUWAN
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 8/25/2003
This is a masterpiece Erin!!

Love Tinka
Reviewed by Marvin Kirsh 8/25/2003
dear erin-Liked your poem-nothing complicated to say.
I did want to offer an opinion in general on an observation about shortening condensing and abbreviating things in poetry.
In example "forked tongue talking, folks unseen, paradise walking, moving fellows moving dreams." I just wrote this in a condensed way and could write it also as below A forked tongue was talking to folks unseen(unseeing) Paradise was walking, Moving fellows and fellows' dreams.

The first way in some cases sounds like written to the beat of a mac 450 speeding roadster with a bongo beat to fast rock.
The aesthetics in it can be seen as you wish to express by many/a large majority/some/or just a few. Uf you when composing fill in all the prepositions remove beat and condensed parts to full sentences you might see better what you are doing=become closer and more aware of/to
yourself and the eyes of others. Then decide what you want to express and how to write it. The above example I wrote could be just about a noving and hauling company thast cheats people,or just where I got the idea, but you have to say so or not so in it and also know that the world has in it all the possible variations you can define from knowing it(because what yuo know is it though you are unlikely to ever encounter a small part of it. so to teach your self better what you know write out things in full first=youymight also find all kinds on new twists meaning to either include/or leave others with a mystery of(buto again to leave a mystery of you should indicate so in some way-the world has no straight route to anything=only geometry on paper does.
I had such a problem most of my life=peopel yake more time to discern exactly me aaand what was common placee to me taake study on the part of others. One day even a psychiatrist(Of psychoanalytic training who took long times to know me) on an observation of mine of a new friendship ask"how did you know that of that person" it of taken me ten years see in her 4 times a week to find that out." My interpretion could have had many other possible interpretations of the same observation. I dont have an answer to today(was decades ago) but my instincts are usually right, and the doctor whom described to me as a prodigy-very smart=Ive no idea where he was coming from-said people no longer knew whether he was serious or joking-was getting some sort of affliction he ascribed to my illness-all I can make of that was he had observation of me on the outside I was unaware of=towards the last few years could hardly look at me without laughing. once out of the blue threatened to "deck me Harvard style" seems looking back there are missing pieces of these doctor encounters as if he mentally assembled me as someone else or had a conversation with me that did not exist but went to some other ear and lead to erroneous relations.

to write me inprivate mkirsh.authorsden.com
or send your email address if you like

Marvin ps keep up the good poetry. you seem very productive last weeks or so
Reviewed by Tony Nerone 8/25/2003
Enlightening piece. Sometimes you make me think to much, Erin. Keep writing, I enjoy you immensely.


tony:)
Reviewed by Regina Pounds 8/25/2003
Original and highly creative!

Gina
Reviewed by E T Waldron 8/25/2003
for my sake I'm glad there is no in between for your first 3 stanza'z
Reviewed by Tami Ryan 8/25/2003
What an awesome write! I had to read it twice, but how insightful... Wow. Great job!

Tami
Reviewed by Andre Bendavi ben-YEHU 8/25/2003
"In-Between"... This is a masterpiece... Rhythm and contents, cadence and form, all set to strike profound thoughts and deliver an excellent reading.

Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU
Reviewed by Retta (Reindeer) Mckenzie 8/25/2003
This was wonderful, excellently written!

Reindeer
Reviewed by Floreann Cawley 8/25/2003
wonderful write..Floreann
Reviewed by Erica Ivory 8/25/2003
Erin..
This is awesome!!! The plot.. the words the meaning.. BRILLIANT!! Truly enjoyed.
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