|Reviewed by Karen Vanderlaan
|excellent work here-i am glad i stopped by|
|Reviewed by Phyllis Jean Green
|Excellent! Would say more, but you have said so much, so well. . .:)|
|Reviewed by *********** ********** (Reader)
|I agree totally with Bhuwan...You need more exposure....this is damn fine work....ty, Dani|
|Reviewed by Dale Clark
|Your muse is strong! Excellent write!|
|Reviewed by Kate Clifford
|Reviewed by Bhuwan Thapaliya
|Erin...This should be printed and circulated....gem of a write my friend.....BHUWAN|
|Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
|This is a masterpiece Erin!!
|Reviewed by Marvin Kirsh
|dear erin-Liked your poem-nothing complicated to say.
I did want to offer an opinion in general on an observation about shortening condensing and abbreviating things in poetry.
In example "forked tongue talking, folks unseen, paradise walking, moving fellows moving dreams." I just wrote this in a condensed way and could write it also as below A forked tongue was talking to folks unseen(unseeing) Paradise was walking, Moving fellows and fellows' dreams.
The first way in some cases sounds like written to the beat of a mac 450 speeding roadster with a bongo beat to fast rock.
The aesthetics in it can be seen as you wish to express by many/a large majority/some/or just a few. Uf you when composing fill in all the prepositions remove beat and condensed parts to full sentences you might see better what you are doing=become closer and more aware of/to
yourself and the eyes of others. Then decide what you want to express and how to write it. The above example I wrote could be just about a noving and hauling company thast cheats people,or just where I got the idea, but you have to say so or not so in it and also know that the world has in it all the possible variations you can define from knowing it(because what yuo know is it though you are unlikely to ever encounter a small part of it. so to teach your self better what you know write out things in full first=youymight also find all kinds on new twists meaning to either include/or leave others with a mystery of(buto again to leave a mystery of you should indicate so in some way-the world has no straight route to anything=only geometry on paper does.
I had such a problem most of my life=peopel yake more time to discern exactly me aaand what was common placee to me taake study on the part of others. One day even a psychiatrist(Of psychoanalytic training who took long times to know me) on an observation of mine of a new friendship ask"how did you know that of that person" it of taken me ten years see in her 4 times a week to find that out." My interpretion could have had many other possible interpretations of the same observation. I dont have an answer to today(was decades ago) but my instincts are usually right, and the doctor whom described to me as a prodigy-very smart=Ive no idea where he was coming from-said people no longer knew whether he was serious or joking-was getting some sort of affliction he ascribed to my illness-all I can make of that was he had observation of me on the outside I was unaware of=towards the last few years could hardly look at me without laughing. once out of the blue threatened to "deck me Harvard style" seems looking back there are missing pieces of these doctor encounters as if he mentally assembled me as someone else or had a conversation with me that did not exist but went to some other ear and lead to erroneous relations.
to write me inprivate mkirsh.authorsden.com
or send your email address if you like
Marvin ps keep up the good poetry. you seem very productive last weeks or so
|Reviewed by Tony Nerone
|Enlightening piece. Sometimes you make me think to much, Erin. Keep writing, I enjoy you immensely.
|Reviewed by Regina Pounds
|Original and highly creative!
|Reviewed by E T Waldron
|for my sake I'm glad there is no in between for your first 3 stanza'z|
|Reviewed by Tami Ryan
|What an awesome write! I had to read it twice, but how insightful... Wow. Great job!
|Reviewed by Andre Bendavi ben-YEHU
|"In-Between"... This is a masterpiece... Rhythm and contents, cadence and form, all set to strike profound thoughts and deliver an excellent reading.
Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU
|Reviewed by Retta (Reindeer) Mckenzie
|This was wonderful, excellently written!
|Reviewed by Floreann Cawley
|Reviewed by Erica Ivory
This is awesome!!! The plot.. the words the meaning.. BRILLIANT!! Truly enjoyed.