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Retta (Reindeer) Mckenzie

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Member Since: Sep, 2002

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The Broken King
by Retta (Reindeer) Mckenzie

Friday, August 29, 2003

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           >> View all 450

The Broken King

How this once mighty King
Sits in torn grief,
Agonizing over the woman
He let slip from his grasp,
The memories an implacable
Pain in his once ironclad heart…

His loss is unbearable,
She died carrying his child
In her womb,
Now their lives congealed,
Into an unrecognized mass
Of broken bones,
And mixed blood
Of his ancestors,
Laid waste in burnished urns…

His dyslexic views,
And misplaced anger
Sunders her heart in two,
Calling her a brazen whore,
Who concealed her secret lovers
In his bed while he fought
To save the kingdom,
He thought he loved more than her…

She fled his wrath,
And ran to fast,
Choosing to leap into the dark abyss,
And missed the river below…

Now he sits on his broken throne,
A man no more,
Lost in the memories
Of what will never be again…

Their story forever stored in
The cybernetic world,
Devoid of all the rage
And love it once contained,
Now forever trapped
In an electronic journal
For all to see…

Reindeer's Page
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Reviewed by Birdie Houston 8/30/2003
Terrific write!
Reviewed by Kay P Devenish 8/30/2003
Exceptional poetry,Excellent!
Best wishes always
Reviewed by Jaclynn Huntington 8/30/2003
Absolutely riviting! What a gem!

Reviewed by Handsum Hart 8/30/2003
this is very good, it breaks away from the norm, which I so very like in a poem. well done Retta
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 8/30/2003
one of the best poems i have ever read by you (and all are good!)!! outstanding job, reindeer! *clapping loudly* (((HUGS))) and love, your friend in texas, karen lynn. :D
Reviewed by William Bonilla 8/30/2003
yes indeed a big WOW
excellent write

Reviewed by Lady Peg (Reader) 8/30/2003

WOW MiLady
Tis a jewel so excellent.
"Their story forever stored in
The cybernetic world,
Devoid of all the rage
And love it once contained,
Now forever trapped
In an electronic journal
For all to see… "
Lady peg
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 8/30/2003
Explosive write Retta!!

Wow! Girl this is a masterpiece!!

Love Tinka
Reviewed by nevine Al Seidi (Reader) 8/30/2003
Your best, Bravo!!!

Reviewed by Bhuwan Thapaliya 8/29/2003
REtta......i am with Eileen here...perfect!!!!!!
Reviewed by Gwen Dickerson 8/29/2003
Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!
Reviewed by jude forese 8/29/2003
a very focused, powerful poem...
Reviewed by Sandie Angel 8/29/2003
WHOA!!!!! Retta! This is awesome write!!!!! Enjoyed this a lot, my friend!

Sandie Angel a.k.a. May Lu :o)
Reviewed by Gaye Dale (Reader) 8/29/2003
More!, Retta, More! This is an epic that must be told!!!

Epic: "An extended narrative poem in elevated or dignified language, celebrating the feats of a legendary or traditional hero."

Fits don't you think?
Excellent, well done!!
Reviewed by Kate Clifford 8/29/2003
I agree this is explosive! Great write!
Reviewed by *********** ********** (Reader) 8/29/2003
I agree with Eileen.....Vivid and in your face...Wonderful poetry.....thanks, Dani
Reviewed by Sanil nath (Reader) 8/29/2003
Excellent write along with a beautiful picture great dear ... nice thought and good work ...

Reviewed by E T Waldron 8/29/2003
WOW! Reindeer, This is explosive! Exceptional imagery! Brilliant write!
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