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Erin E Kelly-Moen

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Member Since: Oct, 2002

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Splitting the Serpent (Contest)
by Erin E Kelly-Moen
Saturday, August 30, 2003

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           >> View all 1,663

Sorry, folks, this didn't get into the contest so I have to repost it. :) Unfortunately, I do not see the contest box, again, it was here yesterday earlier, but I've already deleted the old one and am not taking any chances I might lose my bizarre little gem! ;)


Stripping the hiss
from the snake-thing’s lips,
she placed it on her own.
And bit out a part
of her pain-filled heart,
ridding her soul
of demented bliss.

Quipping the hiss
she blew him a kiss
and licked her wounded rips.
The ax of the fact
split the serpent in half
so she wore it wrapped round
the new-birthed sound
of a mind that climbed
from the crawling abyss
as, smiling, she ate
his shriveled hate.

Erin Moen
Copyright 2003 ©


Reviewed by J. Murphy 8/30/2003

I honestly don't know what to say--I'm not intellectual enough to fully understand but this one certainly pulls in the reader and doesn't let them go. But as Katy says, and upon further reading it becomes clear, this is about the "reawaking" of a woman--specifically taking a hold of the male dominated world and taking half of it for herself. Great imagery and weaving. J.

Reviewed by katy walsvik 8/30/2003

Jaysus, Erin, me girl.. this is brilliant! Yeah, yeah.. that word is a dime a dozen I spose.. would you do me a great favor and BELIEVE IT from me to you for this piece? sincerity flows through my brains.. I've never before read a woman's "reawakening" described more fluidly, more perfectly! This one excited me! You, madam, are magic! love, katy xox.

Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 8/30/2003

Very powerful and haunting Erin!!

Love Tinka

Reviewed by kenny rogers 8/30/2003

enjoyed this carnivorous poem. kenny

Reviewed by Trish MacQueen 8/30/2003

Excellent write...powerful.

Reviewed by Dale Clark 8/30/2003

Very powerful and haunting!

Reviewed by Andre Bendavi Ben-YEHU 8/30/2003

"Splitting the Serpent" is an intriguing WRITING.


Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU

Reviewed by Lady Peg 8/30/2003

I love the images and visual Erin excellent.

Reviewed by Debashish Haar 8/30/2003

This is excellent, bravo!!

Reviewed by Bhuwan Thapaliya 8/29/2003

"Stripping the hiss
from the snake-thing’s lips,
she placed it on her own.
And bit out a part
of her pain-filled heart,
ridding her soul
of demented bliss."

Erin....excellent write my n luck.....BHUWAN

Reviewed by Kate Clifford 8/29/2003

Powerful write!

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Reviewed by ***** ********* (Reader) 9/3/2003
Never read this one before and it as a pleasure to make its discovery! Really inventive with a great rhythm and nice, nasty metaphor!
Reviewed by Debra Brown (Reader) 8/31/2003
erin; wowzers! I am speechless...
fantabulous write! excellent! cool! really really GOOD. (bows down)
Reviewed by E T Waldron 8/30/2003
Erin I'm so glad you reposted, don't know how I missed this tongue twisting gem ! FANTASTIC!You gotta know I'd love it;-)
so many more poets on board really have to keep our eyes peeled;-)
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 8/30/2003
:) Goodluck...does yours show on the contest list? Mine still does not show!!

Love Tinka
Reviewed by Jaclynn Huntington 8/30/2003
The old saying goes...'what goes around... comes around'. Well done.

Reviewed by Ron (sketchman) Axelson 8/30/2003
Strong one it be. Excellent!
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