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Denise Nowakowski

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  All Alone
by Denise Nowakowski
Monday, September 01, 2003


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Recent poems by Denise Nowakowski
•  Life in Bloom
•  Goodbye My Friend
•  Rain
•  For My Ear
•  A Wave
           >> View all 33


An only child - self esteem, responsibility.



All Alone


 


When I was born I was quite alone,


My mother needed help – she too was alone.


There wasn’t a soul who would pull me out


Nor who could shorten the pain she had undergone.


 


When I was a small child and was made to stand


In the corner for not being a saint,


I was alone and had no one to share


My very sad state.


 


As a teenager I was still alone.


I made decisions each day of the week


And if they were wrong then it was my fault.


I had to be strong. It was a sin to be weak.


 


Life can be happy it depends on you, they say.


If you enjoy your life, do not show that you’re glad.


People will soon do their best to bring pain,


And unless you are strong they will soon make you sad.


 


Standing ready on the beach


With my husband and friends,


Watching the ambers so hot


I realized then that life was indeed in my hands.


 


I imagined my entry into this world,


Now once again I was on my own;


Facing the hot coals I could see


I was responsible for me.


 


I walked across, my head held high


Chanting solemnly, not feeling a thing


Except, the excitement of a job well done


By me.


 


Each time I think of the coals I smile.


If I can walk on hot coals on my own,


I can do anything alone. Yes I can!


I can even die on my own.                     


               © Denise Nowakowski, December 2002


 


Denise Nowakowski - Writer/Poet


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Reviewed by Regis Auffray 2/5/2007
Inspirational and empowering words, Denise. Thank you for sharing them. Love and peace to you,

Regis
Reviewed by ~ Holly Harbridge (Reader) 11/8/2006
Your life sounds a lot like mine. I too grew up with much pain, but thank God we learn from our mistakes and wisdom grows within.
Reviewed by Barbara Terry 2/26/2005
Denise I like this poem. It reminds me of me, when I was alone and had no one to share my life with, because you see Denise, I am a male-to-female transsexual. I lived my life in shame, and when my mother caught me wearing my friend's dresses, she would yell and scream that that was wrong. I had no one. Then she sent me to an institution, and I still had no one. When they let me go home for good when I was 18, I still ha no one, and my mother continued to yell. Now that she's gone and my sisters refuse to share their lives with me as a family, I still have no one. But now I am on the road to where I belong; in the world of women, that I was born to be. May the Lord be with you always, and at your side constantly. With much love, peace, & (((HUGS))), your dear friend and sister in Christ our Lord,

Barbara Lynn Terry
"If I have to...Then I may as well be."
Reviewed by T. Emilie Dybevik (Reader) 9/21/2003
I happens just like this in a moment does it not! It happened that way for me when driving one time. I had taken that road a million times. One night I looked up at the stars. I have never seen poetry like this that expresses this actual process that we go through as humans. Brilliant work!

Thank you,
Teresa Emilie
Reviewed by Kay P Devenish 9/1/2003
Sounds like you have a best friend right there with you,Denise Nowakowski is her name.
From the positive ending of this poem I guess you really don't mind being alone anymore whilst in such good company as her.
Bravo for knowing yourself and for believeing in yourself and for this great poem.

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