I feel quite lost today.
I donít know where Iím going
And Iím beginning to realize where Iíve been.
I thought I knew where
But I had deceived myself.
Iím often honest with others to a fault,
Yet, dishonesty with myself is a fault.
I feel out of place all the time,
A consequence of choices madeó
Rendering myself, in steps, to fade
Into a different world than mine.
Thatís why Iím lostó
Not being true to myself,
Changing myself for the woman I loved
And now her world is mine.
Yet, we do not operate in the same worlds,
As many things separate us.
Some things bring us together,
Yet, many things do not.
I feel quite lost in her world
As she feels quite shocked when seeing mine.
I live in a world with many rules,
Where coffee and tea are taboos
And finding wine in the fridge is a travesty.
I canít buy stuff on Sundays
As that would be breaking the Sabbath.
My world is not so demanding,
Where an ice tea or frappuccino
On a warm day is nice
And a little vino with dinner is fine.
Her world is good intentioned,
Yet, we all know where that can lead.
Yes, there are healthy reasons
For the rules that she abides,
Yet, I believe any in excess
Is where the danger lies.
Besides, didnít Jesus change the water into wine?
And he was himself accused of breaking the Sabbath.
I have a problem with certain rules,
No matter how well intentioned,
If they become more by the letter than the spirit.
Itís no wonder Iím quite lost,
As anyone who changes for someone else
Loses themselves in the process.
Iíve learned my lesson well,
But at what expense?
Losing myself, yes, and what other expensesó
I have only to find out.
Can I find myself again in my present world
Or must I cut ties or compromise?
Is the person I am now
Capable of making decisions for the one Iím not?
I am lost in a world not my own
And I do feel quite lost today.