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J. W. Murphy

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by J. W. Murphy

Wednesday, September 10, 2003

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           >> View all 213

*July 28, 2002.

I feel quite lost today.

I donít know where Iím going

And Iím beginning to realize where Iíve been.

I thought I knew where

But I had deceived myself.


Iím often honest with others to a fault,

Yet, dishonesty with myself is a fault.


I feel out of place all the time,

A consequence of choices madeó

Rendering myself, in steps, to fade

Into a different world than mine.


Thatís why Iím lostó

Not being true to myself,

Changing myself for the woman I loved

And now her world is mine.

Yet, we do not operate in the same worlds,

As many things separate us.

Some things bring us together,

Yet, many things do not.

I feel quite lost in her world

As she feels quite shocked when seeing mine.


I live in a world with many rules,

Where coffee and tea are taboos

And finding wine in the fridge is a travesty.

I canít buy stuff on Sundays

As that would be breaking the Sabbath.


My world is not so demanding,

Where an ice tea or frappuccino

On a warm day is nice

And a little vino with dinner is fine.


Her world is good intentioned,

Yet, we all know where that can lead.

Yes, there are healthy reasons

For the rules that she abides,

Yet, I believe any in excess

Is where the danger lies.

Besides, didnít Jesus change the water into wine?

And he was himself accused of breaking the Sabbath.


I have a problem with certain rules,

No matter how well intentioned,

If they become more by the letter than the spirit.


Itís no wonder Iím quite lost,

As anyone who changes for someone else

Loses themselves in the process.


Iíve learned my lesson well,

But at what expense?

Losing myself, yes, and what other expensesó

I have only to find out.


Can I find myself again in my present world

Or must I cut ties or compromise?

Is the person I am now

Capable of making decisions for the one Iím not?


I am lost in a world not my own

And I do feel quite lost today.

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Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 9/10/2003
I am with Jerry On this one 100%

love Tinka
Reviewed by Sue Hess 9/10/2003
an excellent example of the quandary we often find ourselves in these days...her world or yours...maybe there is a meeting ground in between but often not. nice write
Reviewed by Cheryl Sellers 9/10/2003
all things in life must grow or die.. maybe your not lost in her world but have enlarged your. There will always be compromises in life and when we do it for love it can not all be bad. It is only bad if you give away your soul..this is a good write for the questions asked even better for the style
Reviewed by Robin Spicer 9/10/2003
In the words f the prophet, "Be together, but let there be spaces in your togetherness"
I know of what you write, and feel the pain and sense of loss, that this piece conveys. It is like the one you love now loves another.
Peace be unto you
Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader) 9/10/2003
Welcome to the bottomless pit of "I just don't get it" syndrome.
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