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Ian R Thorpe

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· Age Of Certainty

· Age Of Certainty

· Blöd Ties

· The Best Of Boggart Blog (vol 1)

· Dimensions of Mystery

· A Two Faced Poet

· Millennium Dawn (anthology)

· A Stroke of Luck

Short Stories
· Bloodaxe Corner

· The Kiss

· Psycho Benefit Fraud

· The Vegetarian Shoemaker Of Barking

· Garry Trotter and the Portal of Pleasure #7

· Garry Trotter and the Portal of Pleasure #3 (Adult Humour)

· The King of the Ribble Delta Blues Singers (humour)

· A Stroke of Luck - Chapter 19

· A Stroke of Luck - Chapter 18

· A Stroke of Luck - Chapter 17

· Freedom Of Speech And Information - Why It Is So Important

· The Science Fraud: Many Scientific Research Papers Are Pure Gobbledegook

· Maybe You Should Think About Getting a Tinfoil Hat After all

· Merry Atheistmas

· High Brasil: Fairy Tale Or Atlantis

· Captive Minds And Intellectual Cowardice

· Is The Universe Helping Us Think

· Deliberately Wrecking Our Environment

· Why War Is Inevitable

· Helping The Mind Cope With Stress

· We Made Love

· The Hands Of Old People

· Time Travellers

· The Pompous Toad

· Bye Bye Blackbird (parody)

· Sleepless Nights Of A Little boy

· Fitness Fanatics Blues

· The Goddess - Anima Mundi

· Spider

· Different Clothes

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· Seasons Greetings

· Poetry Life and Times Interviews Janet Caldwell

· Ian Thorpe on Christian Radio. Unbelieveable

· Season's Greetings

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  Pastor Penney
by Ian R Thorpe
Sunday, September 28, 2003
Not rated by the Author.

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Recent poems by Ian R Thorpe
•  Feel The Burn
•  Time Travellers
•  There's an Alien in The White House (comic relief)
•  THEM (poem noir)
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           >> View all 183

The pun in the title should give away the mood. This is dedicated to those TV evangelists Jimmy ? and Jimmy ??. Also to the Pentecostalist b.... who got me sacked from my radio show years ago when I was just starting to make an impression. A few years later that man went to prison for abusing his choirboys. RESULT!
Pastor Penney is not to be taken seriously however.

 Pastor Penney is devout
His mind has no congestion
His certainties are many
And his doubts are very few
And when he kneels to pray
He is not open to suggestion
He dismisses every question
Because what he believes is true

Pastor Penney has acquired
A fearsome reputation
He is filled with the Holy fire
And he wields a righteous sword
He puts the fear of God into
His cowering congregation
Warns them that damnation
Waits for who ignores the Word

Pastor Penney fills his sermons
With images of perdition ~
That make the films of Tarentino
Look like a nursery tale
He rages and he thunders
With holy indignation ~
wields Biblical tradition
Like a medieval flail

Young girls wear immodest clothes
Paint themselves with rouge and kohl
And go out walking in the town ~.
behaving like little whores
when they let boys put their dicks in.
The Pastor tries to save their souls
as the beast Beelzebub cajoles
them to behaviour his piety deplores

Some boys read glossy magazines
And are shameless when they’re caught
Indulging in the sin of Onan,
for they do not fear The Lord
And others will debase themselves
through actions and lewd thought
while there’s the devil to be fought.
Are God’s children all so flawed?






Pastor Penney tells the faithful
there’s a sin in every action,
all we ever think and everything we do,
but when a thing’s forbidden
(And sin forever has been
such a wonderful distraction)
It increases in attraction
When it has to be kept hidden

He treads the path of righteousness
That leads to Heaven’s gates
But the route he takes by - passes
Tolerance and understanding,
The way is paved with much temptation
And he knows the Good Lord waits ~
In judgement for whosoever hesitates.
But a Pastor’s lot can be very demanding

And when he takes the word among
The sinful women of the street
All the time his mind keeps straying
Towards their breasts and thighs
And when those girls tease him
Though heaven sees him cheat
His surrender is complete
And the serpent starts to rise

When Pastor Penney cringes in
The solitude of his mission
He fears the angel of the Lord
Can read each though he's thinking
"Be sure your sins will find you out"
Guilt follows behind coition
And his wretched condition
Towards purgatory is sinking

Pastor Penny cannot see
That we are all but human
We only court the devil
When we ignore the flesh
Our time on Earth is short
And so we should all treasure
Every moments’ pleasure
When bodies and souls enmesh.


They Prayed Him Straight
The Religion Of Oral







Holy Milk

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Reviewed by Janet Caldwell 10/1/2003
To hell with the PP's of the world, they should look in the mirror.

Love, Jan xoxoxo
Reviewed by Ronald Hull 9/28/2003
A man of my own heart! Some problem with the text - bold, not bold, and then repeated and double-spaced.

Books by
Ian R Thorpe

Blöd Ties

A Stroke of Luck

Millennium Dawn (anthology)

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  8. Somebody Blinked
  9. Halloween is Coming!
  10. A Cool Guy
  11. Nuts
  12. Mushmouth Kostro...
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  15. Karma Cafe
  16. My Ass Is Grass
  17. Pop-Ups
  18. Dillbert Pickle
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