by Cyrus Webb
Friday, October 10, 2003
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All I really want is to be me---
crawl out of the innocent shell that was disguise for so long and reveal who I really am.
They say all work and no play makes you dull and your days grey, but I wouldn't know.
You see, I play when the lights dim and the curtains close, when it's easier for me to have my way unexposed.
I don't talk about it, because words are cheap and even the biggest liar can heap up fictitious tales. I prefer to be that one who lives daily in the public and protects my privacy in order to enjoy a measure of sanity.
Do you really need to see it all?
Over the years I have peeled back the layers just to reveal a glimpse to tease you...
If I hadn't done it this way,then I would be afraid that the full transformation would be too much for you. It would be for me...
Can you handle it?
I grew up a boy made to feel as though I wasn't tough enough and that my voice and style weren't rough or black enough.
A part of me wrestled with fears of obesity, fighting it with laxatives and a occasional finger down my throat to find normalcy--- yet without success.
I used to hate myself,
No I didn't say those words out loud;
but the course I was on seemed to cloud anything that didn't lead to self-destruction.
But at the end of the day, I just wanted to be me---
and that wasn't going to be a possibility until I went back to the basics.
My family was there for me--- trying to show me that they loved and cared for me--- but they didn't always understand even when trying to do the best for me.
It took my hitting my head against the proverbial brick wall to see how easy it could be to lose it all just by not using self-control.
So I had to learn all over again. I had to stop pointing the finger at what so and so had done to me, in order for me to realize the effect that me, myself, and I had on me. It all began and ended with me.
The fight to be me was really with me, and when I realized that--- then I felt a true sincerity with myself. And it came to me that in order to be free, I just had to lift off my own weight and insecurity and live my life the best way I knew how. As me.
I just had to be happy with me.
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|Reviewed by Anne Brooks
|Great poetic prose about a true adventure of courage. Although life can seem overwhelming at times, we always get through it..and your writing is a lesson of determination. Anne pawlak.|
|Reviewed by Cynth'ya email@example.com
|Excellent proof in this poem of the words contained in "Visions of Black Men" by Dr. Na'im Akbar. Visit Mind Productions (mindpro.com) for info on how to order the book--a MUST for all black men in America!!!
blessin's on the beauty of words-they flow from your soul in this piece,
cynth'ya lewis reed
Also go to my site and click on "News" link-- Letters to America. You need to submit to that, seriously Bro. Webb.
|Reviewed by Janet Caldwell
|You my friend are a terrific man and I have seen your poetry improve over the last yr or two, however long it's been. ;) Your art work has always been great. You are a good friend Cy, someone that I know that I can count on.
Love, Janet xoxoxo
|Reviewed by Andre Bendavi ben-YEHU
|"Metamorphosis" says it all, showing the malady and the remedy.
It is an oustanding poetical prose. Its messages between lines and through its lines strike out reason.
I have learned from this wise writing.
Thank You for sharing Your sage thoughts.
Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU
|Reviewed by Tami Ryan
A powerfully, painful write - one that I connected with in so many of its reflective corners... Wow! Self-acceptance is a tough one, but once realized, it's incredibly empowering. Congratulations on embracing YOU!