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Vesna * Vanessa

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Member Since: Jun, 2003

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Freedom
by Vesna * Vanessa

Sunday, October 19, 2003

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Recent poems by Vesna * Vanessa
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           >> View all 277

 


 


I am consumed by this feeling


this burning


 yearning


screams to burst forth


this intensity gnaws at


my entrails


leaving  no choice


propelling me ever forward


fearless and brave


I shall not be a slave


to delusion.


 This eagerness a surprise to me


nudges gently onward


 finally shaking indecision


denial dissolves


unlocking new horizons.


 


Exultation never known before


engulfs my quaking heart


new fruits of living bliss


unravel endless vistas


 and deep caverns


revealing a new existence.


 



Profound joy


explodes into dance


cries in its newfound bliss


Alive again.


 

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Reviewed by Mark Rockeymoore 10/27/2003
the sheer power that flows through this piece is enough to awaken the dead...lol...i could hear this being screamed from the heights of a cliff overlooking the ocean, hurled into eternity's arms...excellent envisoning, poet...
Reviewed by Fr. Kurt Messick 10/23/2003
awesome
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 10/20/2003
Wonderful write Vesna!!

Love tinka
Reviewed by Bhuwan Thapaliya 10/19/2003
Vesna...I am moved by the beauty and the message of this wonderful write my friend...this goes into my library and this is sth that i will read again and again...love n luck....BHUWAN
Reviewed by jude forese 10/19/2003
your poetic freedom is profoundly constructed...
Reviewed by Nicole Davis Vergara (Reader) 10/19/2003
Vesna this is beautiful!!!! Fit the photo wonderfully, and I love the flow it just pushes and pushes you to read read read to the end!
((((Hugs))))
~Nikki~
Reviewed by Susan Cook-Jahme 10/19/2003
As always, full of emotion Vesna :0)
Reviewed by Jack Roberts 10/19/2003
Well done Vesna!!

Jack
Reviewed by Gwendolyn Thomas Gath 10/19/2003
Yes, this could be a celebration of (renewed)life~thank you for sharing your "Freedom"
Reviewed by - - - - - TRASK 10/19/2003
Freedom Is Your Ability To Express It Without Having To Pay $$ For It!


TRASK
Reviewed by Erica Ivory 10/19/2003
This has a flavor all it's own... I got the feeling and the meaning... that is what poetry is.. Bravo!!
Reviewed by Mr. Ed 10/19/2003
Wonderful write, Vesna, as always!
Reviewed by Donna Quesinberry 10/19/2003
sounds like love or passion

thanks,
donna.
Reviewed by Vesna Vanessa 10/19/2003
Tyler..Master Poet..I give you thanks for your assistence...:)

Vesna
Reviewed by Jaclynn Huntington 10/19/2003
This explodes with life and the exhistance of hope! Bravo!!

~Jackie~
Reviewed by Tyler Wiseman 10/19/2003
good momentum to the poem, but you have some noteable misspells, first, intensity, which I imagine to be mere typo. Second, dilusion (Delusion? Dilution?)

My eagerness a surprise to me

Repetitive, I would replace the first me with "this."

nudging me gently on (Nudges gently onward)
finally shaking indecision (to finally shake{Shirk} indecision)


A joy profound (inappropriate placement of adjective, considering...)
exploding into dance (that this would have to be explodes)
crying in its newfound bliss (and this cries)
Alive again.

Remember, the first line dictates the entire poem.

I am consumed by this feeling

Overall the poem is stinted by a lack of certain grammatical consistencies to wit.

this burning
this yearning
screaming to burst forth
this intesity gnawing at

Either capitalise or punctuate, since leaving the grammar open ended mixes tense and will confuse verbs with adverbs. With a new sentence, it would be screams or gnaws, and to some degree upon elabortation, since the proper punctuation for the first line would be a ; indicating a new sentence structure.
Reviewed by John Bidwell 10/19/2003
Wonderful burst of life!
John
Reviewed by Carolyn Red Bear (The Bear Paw) 10/19/2003
I can feel the burst forward, Vesna! Excellent expression when one can feel it... stay strong...
In Spirit,
Bear
Reviewed by E T Waldron 10/19/2003
Vesna, a glorious poem of emotions and passions being revitalized, it's as breathtaking as the art!
Reviewed by Aamie Burnley 10/19/2003
... the joys of evolving possabilities beautifully expressed.
Reviewed by Kate Clifford 10/19/2003
Inspiring and uplifting. Great write! Love the painting!
Reviewed by Cathy Montgomery (Reader) 10/19/2003
Wonderful! Art matches this perfectly...
Reviewed by Lady Peg (Reader) 10/19/2003
Vesna,
i love the emotion and flow of feelings in this one
So excellent my friend.
"I shall not be a slave



to dilusion."
Smiles
Peg

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