If we fall, we fall?
Rain could not wait to beat you down.
Wind rushed out of turn from the wings.
Colors you barely flew let go and drowned.
To think of the hope you felt last spring.
We were waiting, you know. Oh, yes.
Stood eager to applaud, every eye on the stage
The glory of your costume, we could only guess.
How much red, how much gold, how much sage.
Fantasy even floated us into the cast
In robes gilded too fast not to tear and fade.
A prompter named Frost mouthed Do your best,
As we piled laughing and crying on stage.
Every leaf has a part to play
Knowing it can be cut any day.
(c) Phyllis Jean Green, November 10, 2003
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|Reviewed by *********** ********** (Reader)
|Again Pea you have impressed.....
I thank you......Dani
|Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado
|WOW! terrific write, sweetpea; well done, sweetie! enjoyed!~ (((HUGS))) and much love, your texas friend, karen lynn. :D|
|Reviewed by Debashish Haar (Reader)
|MINDBLOWING imagery, Phylis!|
|Reviewed by Susan Cook-Jahme
|Hi Pea - I enjoyed the idea of the play taking place - pretty poem :0)|
|Reviewed by Richard Vallance (Reader)
Hi, Phyllis! While this is a very fine poem, I still think you can tighten it up a little.
For instance in the very first verse:
might be more striking in its impact, where it:
It hammers more. Just my take, that's all.
I agree the imagery is terrific.
|Reviewed by Leland Waldrip
|Terrific imagery, Phyllis. The play metaphor is just great.
|Reviewed by Sandie Angel
|Wonderful write, very imaginative!
Sandie Angel a.k.a. May Lu :o)
|Reviewed by E T Waldron
|Brilliant metaphor, in a beautifully expressed poem!|
|Reviewed by Kate Clifford
|Wonderful nature write with such beautiful images!|