A Dream To See Oar Not To Sea
by A PAX
Tuesday, November 11, 2003
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A Dream To See Oar Not To Sea
Not far from the water's edge, rocked by gentle waves
Tho anchored as the row boat....free drift my spirit craves
Soothed now by golden sunlight...reflections of this life
Surviving stormy midnights...best forgotten sights
I've had too many oarsmen, trying to row me
Silence took as compliance...no true course did they see
No journey can be started...before the anchor's lift
Tethered to the mud below...mere inches did I drift
So do I wait, for rope to break...before I drift to sea?
Or is this harbor grave yard home....my only destiny?
Where wood will rot, as sea bears thru..so slowly I will sink
By monster waves I'm taunted....and pushed beyond my brink
Storms have pushed me to and fro...
How I've survived, I do not know
Tho I am weary, come the dawn......
The sunrise bids me.........carry on
November 10, 2003
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|Reviewed by Broken Poet
|These are such painfully beautiful words of strenth and will. - Thank you for sharing this wonderful piece.|
|Reviewed by Jack Roberts
|Reviewed by Oirdheirc Mor (Reader)
|Hi Lady A,
Not bad at all for a bakers dozen.
I find the thirteen syllables lines a bit hard sometimes, I feel as though I am dancing out of step to the music.
I know we are not supposed to count them, and I never ever do when I am writing because I speak my words being Dyslexic and word blind it does not work for me, I write purely by ear
One thing I was not keen on here was the repeated use of “The” nine times out of ten it is never needed and tends to read more like prose than poetry. Maybe its just me.
Though I do believe it is the modern trend to write as we speak, “Texas I take back all I said,” except the bit about you speaking English, but who am I to talk neither can I.
Lallan’s is a Scottish literary style incorporating the dialect of the lowland Scot, which is quite hard for me being a Highland Scot.
Nevertheless, I keep plodding on.
|Reviewed by Bonita Quesinberry
|Anita, this poem is exceptionally well written. I believe it speaks to everyone's life, including mine. By the way, thank you for your kind words about "I Society."
Love in Christ~~
|Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
|Lust Beautiful Anita!!
|Reviewed by George Carroll
|You are the queen Anita.|
|Reviewed by Evelyn Simon
|Awesome, simply awesome.|
|Reviewed by Bhuwan Thapaliya
|Anita....one of ure best write....fantastic!!!!|
|Reviewed by La Belle Rouge (Reader)
|Outstanding write, so well penned.|
|Reviewed by Kate Clifford
|Reviewed by Mr. Ed
|Very sad, but very well done. And the next dawn is always a beautiful thing.|
|Reviewed by Transcendental Poet (Reader)
|Reviewed by Gwen Dickerson
|VERY, VERY GOOD! I love this message.|
|Reviewed by Sandie Angel
|Wonderful inspirational write. I like the dawn, it always means "a new beginning" in my book of dictionary.
Your poem reminds me of one of my own - "It's A Beautiful Dawn". Yes, to have survived and to carry on means "a new beginning".
May Lu a.k.a. Sandie Angel :o)
|Reviewed by Debashish Haar (Reader)
|Wonderful work, Anita!|