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Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado

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Member Since: Before 2003

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christmas to me no longer means joy...
by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado

Friday, November 14, 2003

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           >> View all 409

am dreading christmas this year.

christmas, where did you go?
christmas, why do i now cry so?

what happened to the joy, the love, the peace inside?
i used to love christmas; now i just want to run away and hide!

i used to love christmas; now it makes me cry;
and christmas for me doesn't get any easier as the years go by.

am struggling; i have bills to pay,
and i am hoping that things'll soon be okay.

i also work on christmas; that shouldn't be allowed,
i should be home, and my anger, i'll shout ALOUD!!

but it doesn't look good, each day is worse than the last,
i want joy, but instead, i am feeling life's cruel blast.

don't have the money for gifts; it's just as well,
but christmas for karla and i has gone all to hell.

so be praying extra hard for us; we really could use a break today,
and we need to know that god is there for us, in SOME way!

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Reviewed by The Smoking Poet 12/12/2003
Karen, perhaps, if you look carefully, you have been given a blessing...

I've been caught up past years in holidays celebrated with largesse, and increasingly I have felt less and less happy with this. I love having my family close around me. I love taking a moment out of my usual routine to give time to my spirituality. This year, there will be very little under my tree, but there will be much in my heart. I am looking forward to having much less material distraction in this holiday, and bringing back the focus on the lasting gifts of the spirit.

Blessings to you and yours,
Zinta
Reviewed by serenety L 11/24/2003
Oh Karen, I fully understand this. I also used to love Christmas, when I was younger. But our money-orientated society has commercialized it so much. Bigger presents, more presents each year-that seems all that counts.
Plan on going to church and then spending a wonderful evening at home with your sister. A little decoration, nice food. That will make this evening very special.
I will be thinking of you.
Nico
Reviewed by Rebekah Rosie Lang 11/15/2003
Karen, you may be down now,
but God will poke his head
IN SOMEHOW! Faith, you must
have faith!
Hang tough! I am doing it
too!
Becca
Reviewed by Sandie Angel 11/15/2003
I'm making my self-made gifts to give away for Christmas. I get all the things I needed from the Dollar-Rama to make my own gifts. I think to make your own gifts with love is better than the store-bought ones, people would likely to treasure it more. I still think that it's the thought and the love that counts.

I wouldn't want others to give me expensive gifts either.

Love to you and Karla,

Sandie Angel a.k.a. May Lu :o)
Reviewed by Taylor Trenton (Reader) 11/15/2003
Thank you this is wonderful/.
Reviewed by Sarah Tagert 11/15/2003
I'm sorry that such a wonderful time of year had become so awful for you, but I somewhat agree.
Reviewed by Retta (Reindeer) Mckenzie 11/15/2003
Dear Karen, We have been through some very rough times, but you know, the best Christmas was when we made a paper ring tree and homemade gifts. I pray you have hope for a beautiful Christmas with your sister,

Reindeer
Reviewed by Dens Dreamweaver (Reader) 11/15/2003
Karen and Karla - please forgive me for addressing this to you both - I'm still recovering from my strokes - so writing is sometimes hard. ((((( hugs ))))) I know the world has commercialized Christmas so much that often the spirit of the holiday gets lost behind the retail commercialism of it all. You know - there may be a reason God is allowing you to work Christmas day - one never knows, but perhaps you need to be there to help someone else find their way? The best Christmas the kids and I had was a year we had no money - there were no store bought gifts. I had just left an abusive marriage and we were struggling to make it on our own. But we did make our own ornaments that year.. had a recipe for making them.. need to find that again.. lol We also cut out snowflakes from paper. We sat down and wrote each other a letter. Sealed that was our gift to each other. Letters of thanks. And that afternoon we went and served dinner at the homeless shelter. I think, sweetheart, that when we really look we will find the Christmas spirit is still alive and well - we just have to get past the retails blairing and the call for money from everyone and their dog. You hang in there hun - and I bet by Christmas day others will be looking at you and thinking -"so thats what Christmas really is..." Your God will never abandon you two. We don't always understand why things happen they way they are.. thats where faith comes in.

Oh my - and now I have written a book.. lol Sorry. Its back to bed for me. Love you both muchly!
Melanie
Reviewed by Keighley Perkins (Reader) 11/15/2003
a really sad poem. keep your head up, karen. things can only get better. Love from your welsh friend Keighley
Reviewed by Bianca Boonstra 11/15/2003
So sad. I'm praying for you both.
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 11/15/2003
My heart and love go out to you and Karla!!

Wich I could help you out...all I can give is my love!!

Love Tinka
Reviewed by Robert Blackwell (Reader) 11/14/2003
Miracles aren't just for 34th Street, and God has miracles in store for you, that you may find some measure of joy and peace this holiday season. {{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}} **kotc**
Reviewed by Libby Stone (Reader) 11/14/2003
Beautiful heartfelt write. My prayers follow you.
Many Blessings,
Libby
Reviewed by Ed Matlack 11/14/2003
Karen (& Karen), while I feel your pain and know this wont help much, remember there are others in the world, those children that go to bed hungry for instance from that poem I wrote the other day, they are hurting also...Christian religions emphasize the point that you have to give to get, so to speak. Do what you have to, to be happy. I also think, now this is my personal opinion, maybe some anti depressants might be of help for both of you...what could they hurt...I know they helped me, even around the xmas holidays. A time I never enjoyed as far back as I can recall...Keep pluggin' along, girls, you are loved, Peace, Ed & Rufuz (big lickie kissies from Rufuz)
Reviewed by Michelle Kidwell Power In The Pen 11/14/2003
(((Karen)))))

I know the feeling, but mine is for different reasons, my prayers are with you and Karla....
God Bless
~Michelle~
Reviewed by Floria Kelderhouse (Reader) 11/14/2003
Hi Karen....this is the first year we are not exchanging gifts....and our christmasses in the past were full of gifts...two sons were out of work for over seven months...the wife of one son was out of work for eight months...we have had deaths and illnesses...so this year...we will have a big dinner...spend the day being thankful to God for our health...and just love each other...thats really what its all about anyway...we hve gotten too commercial and put God aside...and it's time we put Him back into Christmas...I will pray for you and Karla...I know you have needs ..... be strong....and above all be happy that you and Karla have each other...and we all love you guys here at the den...you are not alone friend...it has been a tough year...God bless....floria
Reviewed by Robert Montesino 11/14/2003
I'll say a little prayer for you my texas friend!
Reviewed by Regis Auffray 11/14/2003
For some reason, I am often the saddest at Christmas so your words ring true more so than you might think. I pray for love, peace and strength for you. Regis
Reviewed by Alexandra* OneLight* Authors & Creations 11/14/2003
Christmas Eve is one month and ten days away... For each of these fourty days, dear friend, one prayer, one hope, one faith... Through all of them, your goodness, kindness, solidarity towards others, and beauty... For all of them, Light, Love, and Harmony... and by Midnight, within fourty days, you will be blessed with an Advent... that of Christmas recovered in each and every sense, because you deserve it, as well as all its Gifts. And so does Karla.
{{{{{{{{{{{Karen and Karla}}}}}}}}}}}}
~Alexandra~
Reviewed by Katy Walsvik 11/14/2003
Oh, my dear Karen.. you have life, your wonderful sense of humor, and you have each other! and that's non-negotiable.. I'm sorry you're struggling.. me too, I suppose.. but do take a sec to look around.. it's not about money.. tomorrow could be the beginning ... that's what makes life so much fun! Not really knowing! The anticipation.. Smile, sweetie.. it's contagious! (wink) katy xox.
Reviewed by E T Waldron 11/14/2003
Karen It hurts to read this.So many miss the joy of Christmas by thinking of it in terms of commercialism. I agree with stephen Reynolds, you have to seek God's ways and share your joy with each other best you can.Holidays should not be measured by ho much we have, but by how much of us God has!You and Karla will remain in my prayers.
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 11/14/2003
(((karen)))

i'm with you on this too...i understand. don't despair--you ARE loved by me and many others here on authors den!!!!

emotional, heartfelt write

(((HUGS))) and love,

karla. :(
Reviewed by John Bidwell 11/14/2003
I am really with you on this one.
I'll be working, and not making enough working 60 hours per week to have any ease of stress.
I will be helping people less fortunate, and I'll make the best of it.
Real tough not to feel sorry for ourselves, but we have to fight it.
John
Reviewed by Mr. Ed 11/14/2003
Here's hoping and praying that true Christmas spirit does come your way this year, Karen.
Reviewed by George Carroll 11/14/2003
My heart and love go out to you and Karla. Don't dispair, we will all be praying for you.
Love George
Reviewed by R. Steven Reynolds 11/14/2003
You have Karla and she has you. Christmas gifts with your talents should be words. The greatest gift you have to give is your love. Don't let the secular Christmas hide the truth. Both you and your sister are blessed with talent and love. As for joy continuing writing and bring joy to your fellow writers on AD

Your friend in Texas
Steve
Reviewed by La Belle Rouge (Reader) 11/14/2003
You will make it somehow, God will supply. You are both loved and in my heart and prayers. Try to just think of the true gift of Christmas and you will begin to feel some joy.
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